Kindness or Cruelty?

                  CheckMate

       
       
       
What would you get if you break the word 'therapist'  
into two halves?          
       
       
 
 
       
My therapist has a strange face-    
pacific-plastic-pious-righteous        
   
He siphons ectoplasm and radiates        
into strange curvatures on planes        
other than the one I am in always        
   
He probably bleaches his face and        
uses minerals of the Dead sea or        
may be clay-imported from Africa        
   
He wears linen-loves strobe light        
often scrubs his hands too hard          
   
Miller seems to be a great influence    
as he seems to live within Sexus    
in those yellow pages of his copy-        
dog-eared-fashionably primitive    
       
He frequently quotes Otto Rank        
reminisces about his brief stay          
in uptown Tokyo in the late 80's    
hates the English word Shrink    
       
Mont Blanc and robes are his thing        
Chihuahuas excite him and so does the        
aborigines-the ukulele and saliva        
   
Probably to curb latent dependency        
he changes my medication at least        
once every few weeks and it works        
   
He loves watching The Matrix          
Syencdoche, New York and Anima Mundi        
are his top favourites of all times        
his favourite fictional character    
is called Lemmy Caution        
   
His fetish with strobe lights and        
Cashmere appeals to me at times        
   
My  defense mechanisms have seemingly          
held me in good stead all these years-        
he hardly seems to know me or else        
he would have written this poem in this          
leather-bound-matte-finish-journal    
       
which obviously belongs to him
 
 
 

He turned away from every kind word,
Then raised his brows to mock on it-
Rejecting all comforting opinions.

He kept a passive face to jokes told,
And ignored all other warmth that extends-
He couldn't afford an extra memory in his head.

He frowned every chance he got,
More so to gestures of true kindness-
Causing his knees to weaken beneath him.

He clenched his fist,
Then he gritted his teeth-
Every time he sees understand in their eyes--
Staining his heart with black lines of sorrow.

It is not their presence he dislikes-
It is the absence of that presence he hates.
For that; he shares his pain with kind strangers.


(Understand how dearly the boy adores kind strangers...)

Tit For Tat

Tasteful revenge sweet like chocolate
My soul is bitter it's quite the opposite
Me and your boyfriend been hanging out
Doing secret acts you don't know about
He's ready to leave you for a love more stable
His hand be on my thigh under the table
My libido peaks I then excuse myself
Your golden boy decides to share his wealth
His luxurious body was my prize to claim
Such a shame he was screaming out my name
The scratches on his back all compliments of me
Now you see the pain of committing adultery
You remember the same way you did with my man
The betrayal from you motivated my plan
To sleep with your man and wreck your home
I have nothing better to do since I'm all alone
You should've seen us like cats in heat
Playing and wrestling between the sheets
Whispering in my ear how he's in so deep
Inside my love we didn't even sleep
Every kiss from his lips was smooth like velvet
His embrace was so warm I almost melted
But hold on a minute I'm getting to the best part
I told him about how you betrayed his heart
After we climaxed in synchronocity
Introducing karma can you feel the reciprocity?
Sorry but you forced me to stoop so low
But you planted the seed now you reaped what you sow
He was my man and your boyfriend's bro
Killed two birds with a spare stone to throw
Just like I did when I confessed my dirt
Directly to your face to resemble the hurt
I've felt when you and my ex love fooled around
I'm leaving you in shock as your jaw hit the ground
Good for you maybe next time you'll learn
Don't play with fire or you will get burned

Angels Do Exist

I've decided to tell you how beautiful you are
When the world tried to say you wasn't up to par
I wanted you to recognize you're close to perfection
Made you have the courage to face your own reflection
Look at yourself do you see what I see?
A catepillar in a cocoon waiting to be free
Like a butterfly floating over a spring garden
I want to chisel you open when your heart begins to harden
I want your friendship, your trust and nothing more
I know your self esteem has been at war before
Your defenses are up they've became your prison
Trapped behind the weight of your defense mechanisms
I want to be your superhero to save you from danger
The one you can depend on so please don't be a stranger
Here's my phone number you can call me anytime
You're feeling down and out and something's on your mind
And then you'll find that someone does love you
I should know because at one time I was you
Lonely because I was afraid to get hurt
Until someone reached out and helped me see my worth
I would like to pass on my knowledge as a gift
From me to you it'll give your soul a lift
I'm making it my business to maintain a connection
In case you drift in a sea of depression
I want to be the blessing God sent to your life
To bring you out the dark and help you see the light

For all the favors I showered on her
Was I kind or was I cruel?
Truly I took something in return
Was it square or was it fair?

When all was rough I was there
Took her in,became the listening ear
There we was,living on what I had to spare
Just in the way a brother will care

Soon I started seeing the vision clear
Something that wasn't always there
Vicious obsession like I was under a spell
I'm just a man,I have to be sincere

Yes I plotted the plans
Patiently waited for the slightest chance
To make this unholy advance
And then came the unholy dance

Did I take advantage?
Was I kind or was I cruel?
Here am I alone,confused
Throwing the judgement back at you

You Deserved To Die

you died last night in your peaceful dreams
i wish i could've butchered you and embraced the screams

torture merciless and teach you desperation
be on the opposite side of our sick reflection

im drug induced while i mutilate you alive
feeding you morphine so that you'll survive

scar your mind with nightmares that kill
introduce the horror you first instilled

obtain my long awaited unfair justice
from your wretched thieving hands that thrust us

into the terror branded from that night
where you claimed my innocence and my fight

"take this baby you'll have a lot of fun" you said
so i drank it and cried instead

cause pills where slipped into my drink
and you turned on me before i blinked

ever since you crushed my fragile figure
i lost my mind and pulled the trigger

so now your death just sounds so sweet
ill slaughter my sanity and become the freak

fucking sick, disgusting, twisted creep!
aren't you fucking happy you died in your sleep?!

so lucky i couldn't do it myself..
im aching to hear you begging for help

id slice your wrists and ankles one by one
and ask cheerfully if your having fun

try to run there's no escape
your bloody creases are in no shape

goddammit i fucking hate you scum
for the years you stole and made me numb

you murdered my only childhood
but you know what i never understood?

that you said i was like your daughter
is that what it means to be a father?!

she never told the police a word
acting as if she hadn't heard

he said hed kill you when his time was done
it never would've happened if he wouldn't have gone

ill never see you again, but ill still cry
cause to me you'll never truly die

                         R.I.A
                 rest in agony Robert
              because you killed me first