Truthfully Speaking. . .

         Little Girl

Little Girl
Is what they called me
While making my insides bleed
Holding me down
Listening to me scream
But i was...
A Little Girl
Being beat
Choked and gagged
Beyond all means
Tears falling from my face
My abdomen bruised
And the insides of my legs
Just a Little Girl
Being taken advantage
Tied up and bound
To a bed while there all around
Eying my petite
Undeveloped body
What do they see?
A piece of meat
But its a Little Girl
That's what they said
"Little Girl bow your head
I didn't know any better
I thought she was my friend
Now her whole family
Sees between my bend
Little Girl
She was too
But she joined in
Like she wasn't
Her hands holding my feet
I knew this was defeat
Hours felt like days
In this place called hell
Where they were raised
"Little girl don't say a thing"
While they untied the string
Limping home, where i went
No justice for me
Little Girl never able
To feel free

.:Heads and Tales:.

this write, this is for the democrat and the republican
the independents and those on-the-fringe curmudgeons
the main streeters and all them wall streeters
them investment managers, them brokers
the ones in disguise; the planned plant eaters
closers as posers; the manipulators
the ones who place lives on meters; calling ‘em
bottom feeders

can’t forget those saints Pete’s & Paulee’s
the one’s in those torn wife-beaters
and those thugs who need hugs but instead
they just squeezing off them glock triggers

included in this fist is all you who didn’t know
...didn’t know y’all the brand new niggers

can’t forget the ex-Wal-Mart greeters
and also the blood blank bleeders (too many L’s; what the hell)
and them “quiet arrival” lawn feeders

less we forget the “best-you-cop-a-plea” pleaders
them ADA’s and public defenders?
lounging in the pubs sharing chicken fingers

this is for all of y’all wanting a slice of the pie
this write is on the attack and
you aughta know why

sooner or later

we all
fall
in
line

one way or another; together
we’re plugged-in
into the rush; hear the hush?

we do; because we surely can
sums of which we can’t…rushing
into it

each action; we flip for it
setting up a notion, no emotion
each & everyday

the dismay

promises made; saying
we’re going to make some headway
the setup; built
for the head sway

jaded

consider the daydreamt and the day traded
the outcome for today’s heads
local, state and feds

the cock holders..
with their winks, handshakes & manila folders
the elated with fees inflated
bank on it; we call this…getting ahead and
doing it the best way we can

when we can  

we participate in each calculated illusion
inching forward; on the borrow
lock stepped into a dead-end tomorrow

again & again…this is the bottom line
where at the head of the line

the heads of the line

they just wait
as they continue to calculate
waiting with their buttons to push
needing for us to rush
when we can

and again we’ll pretend
along with the heads of the line  
pretending we always wanted to be just like them

one on whom we know we can always depend
right through to the end

rushing us & them

you know

to our
end.

Can't Say



I'm mad, yes, that's what I want to say
I told you I was terrified to play,
And yet you persisted to make me feel,
And now pull back, making me question what was real.

How could you do that, I don't understand?
Was I just a challenge you couldn't command?
Was that my purpose in your life,
To serve your masochistic heart it's daily strife?

Finally I drop all my walls,
Finally I begin to answer your subtle calls,
Only for you to pull away,
Leaving me searching for something to say.

Now I can't look at you without this pain in my heart
Its as though you don't care your tearing me apart.
You said you'd always be there,
You said you'd always care.

You said you would always be my friend,
But don't you realize this silence is our causing our end?
This is why I always said no,
Its why our friendship bloomed so slow.

You know my love language is touch,
Why are you oblivious to so much?
Why do you say one thing, but act another,
Keep me at arms length then touch my like a lover?

What am I to you? Just another girl?
Just another player in your games, like some trophied pearl?
I thought I was your friend,
But now I question whether it was all pretend.

Fine, I don't care if you don't want me,
But make up your mind, keep me close or set me free.
Stop pretending I won't be lost,
Cause after four years, you will pay some kind of cost.

I don't want to lose you,
This much is true,
You're one of the few I rely on,
And I know I will grieve once you are gone.

But maybe its better,
To break this friendship than being together.
Because your coldness is breaking my heart,
A truth you've know from the very start.

So, I'll say I love you, now that your not listening,
And hide the tears that are now glistening,
And rebuild the walls that I let fall,
Because now that I'm caught, you don't seem to want in at all.

Beautiful Machina


You are mechanical;
the methodic machine,
a beautiful robot
with metallic genes.
You are predictable;
purely pugnacious,
walking a lonely line
and proudly tenacious.
You are callous,
a cold calibration
Immune to my cause
and to love’s liberation.
You are strong
and selfishly so,
protecting your heart,
not letting it show.
You are armored,
armed and abstruse;
a deadly defense
for the life you choose.
You are beautiful,
a brilliant clone,
but loneliness lingers...
and you are all alone.

you finaly found something you were forbidden to have
A way to say fuck the world
A smog cloud on your breath
A stiff mound on your sweats

You took what was never yours
Anyone else could have checked
They lied adn said it was a doctors check

You never went to medical school
You were a male
I a tiny female

A real doctor is supposed to check you
not molest you

My mother married a beast
A cruel heartless monster
She will never know
You will always smile at the thought

I hate you so much you fucking pig

Haunting Me

I'd like to think that I could remember 
All the times that you had held my heart 
 I can't count and that's a shame 
Because many times you have called my name 
But that's the past and it keeps reoccurring 

Maybe sometimes I'm just as eager 
But beneath your fantasy it's just me , it's always me
So when you're ready to feed your starved desire 
You want a close relative and I'm always for hire 
But I'll admit that I sometimes like the attention 

But in your cage you remove the blankets
In total darkness I feel cold against your hot body
Soon enough you'll finally get exhausted
And then again I'll wait for the haunted  
I'm guessing that your unaware 
Of the possibly that I'd ever feel unwanted 

I'd like to think that maybe I'm a fool 
For ever letting it get that far 
But then again, I am, now, in to deep
And when you haunt me in my dreams too, you wake me from my sleep 

"let it sleep"

so quiet you are
even on these occassions
your woman
lost in every note of the music
as you half-interestedly observe
the jovialities
rippling through our gathering

and i wonder which are the words
that will never form
when you stop to look at me long
like that
                           --and hold

through whomever is talking
whatever the joke
however late
the drinking has gone on

it is a pleasant mystery
and it makes me smile
sometimes

"Again"

Where was it that it happened, who was I?
I can't remember.
All I remember is that bruised eye,
in late December.
Again, you had hit me.
Again, Again,
I had to bleed.
I cried, again.

Why do you hit me?
What did I do so wrong?
My eyes are swollen and I can't see,
I can't avoid you, you're too strong.
Again, yet again
I'm bleeding on the floor.
I died today,
I'm fairly sure.
Again, again.

My friends are worried,
They've noticed the bruises.
They don't want me to let you hurt me,
But I can't run away, I can't avoid this.
Again, I'm always on the floor again,
I can't see why you'd do this.
Again, I'm under your foot again.

I can't see the purpose of life anymore,
As I wrap a belt around my neck.
I just want to die now, I'm sure,
I'm just a messy wreck.
Again, I will hang alone,
Not that you noticed it anyway.
Again, you have shown,
Why I should be dead today.

Again, again,
I couldn't die,
They found me.
Again, again,
You tell a lie,
Say you care and promise you won't be...

Again, again,
You hit me today.
Even though you promised to change your ways.
Again, again,
Another lie to swallow,
Too bad my body is already hollow.

PRIMA DONNA

you are such a bitch

you have such airs

you think your sh__ don’t stink

words that describe you are:

CONCIETED
ARROGANT
VAIN
DIVA
SHOW-OFF
DRAMA-QUEEN

you think the world revolves around you

you think you DESERVE - EVERTHING - you GOT

the TRUTH is you are OVER-RATED

you were lucky to be BORN into a RICH family

connected to EVERYBODY who is IMPORTANT in this town

an OVERGROWN, OVERPAID, spoiled BRAT

narcissistic/ materialistic /self-centered/ snob extravagant

massive ego/overrated/overestimated sense of self-importance.
   
   Prima-bitch
   Prima douche
   prima drama
   primal bitch
   diva bitch
   princess snob
   stuck-up

As the ROLLING STONES sang - YOU’RE SO VAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Conversations ( Afganistian )


She came to me in the middle of the night;
Shaking and shivering full of fright. 
She said " I had a terrible dream";
It woke me up, and had to scream. 

"Calm down dear, Daddy's here!";
Honey their is nothing to fear. 
She couldn't get a word out as she tried;
Just laid there in my arms and cried. 

"Pookie please tell me what is wrong";
"Daddy I dreamt that you were gone".
"Baby daddy's did not go anywhere"
No matter what I said it was as if I wasn't there. 

I told her that everything is alright;
You will have good dreams the rest of the night. 
I sat their for what else could I say?;
I will ask again during the day. 

She called me and told me "I remember what it all was;
I'm afraid to tell you just because". 
" Baby: please tell me what was wrong!"
" I was afraid that you will be gone".

"I will always be here with you no matter what"
"Don't cry no more my little peanut";
So we talk about some funny stuff.
Then she said "daddy please don't worry I will be tuff". 

I felt as if she was stronger than me that day;
For the last thing she had to say. 
"Daddy don't worry I will be tuff";
To hold back my tears was awful rough. 

She call for me later that night;
Saying that she had a fright.
"Pookie please tell me what's on your mind";
"Daddy do you ever have something to hide behind?"

I had told her I only had one fear;
That is not to be able to wipe your tear. 
"Daddy you build me up, and make me strong";
"I'm just making sure your not gone!"

She called for me once again;
"Daddy I don't know where to start; where to begin"
"Honey you can tell me anything you want; I said";
"Daddy I want to sleep in your bed".

"My dearest darling I wish you could";
"You just go to sleep and be good!"
"Daddy I don't want you to be shocked";
" I know you can't drawl blood from a rock"

Those words that echoed in my mind
So long;
How she will be tuff and so strong. 
This four year old who would never say good-bye;
She's tearing me down and made me cry. 

I called to her the very next day, and told her I have something important to say;
"Daddy's coming I will be there to stay!"
My beautiful child of mine broke down in tears;
"Daddy I will I have no more fears?".

She met me when I got off the plane;
We both had grown up, and not the same. 
I remembered her just a cute;
She snapped back and gave me a salute. 

I was trained to be tough as a nail;
To cry in my daughters arms; did I fail?
"See daddy your were afraid like me";
"I just had to know if I could be".

To see my little girl to be such a trooper;
I thought it was nice, and even super. 
Around her neck she still wore my dog tag;
"Daddy every time I thought of you I would salute our flag!"

How can my Pookie understand what it is like in war?;
When she could barely open her dresser door. 
The hardest thing for a father;
Is going to war, and leaving his daughter. 

I've seen death and have been shot;
Nothing ever hurt as bad as she fought. 
My little girl said she would be tuff;
I know now she had the right stuff.

She does not let me too far from sight;
For she never wants to have to fight. 
I think that she walked the walk;
She drew water from a rock. 

My Pookie is now eight;
She has grown up and still makes sure that I'm not late. 
She tells me how I made her strong;
I think as a father; I was wrong. 

She knows now what I was;
She says" Daddy, I know just because".
She doesn't get mad or even hyper;
Even though I was a sniper. 

To this day it is really rough;
Just to know that she is so tuff. 



Conversations from my daughter, and I;
The only woman that made me cry!

I LOVE YOU FALISATIE NOEL!

Just do it now
Cut where I tell you to
I struggle to do it myself
But you can do it, I'm sure.

I'll be willing
I promise.

I'll lay quietly
I'll like it, I know
I'll smile with relief
Just watch me bleed.

I know you think I need fixing
But this is what will fix me
This Is my answer.

I do want it
I need it
Just do it now.

So I can have your love with me
When I really need it the most?
Will you be with me?
Overcome your fear to help me overcome all mine?

Truthfully speaking

How can I let go
of a part of me that
constantly defines
who I am.

diddi said:Division Lives        

Do we live within a land
that doesn't
have we seen
our dreams
through eyes that couldn't
have we thrown our beans
to a garden so rich
that they could grow
but wouldn't
could you hit your target
with one bow ,
no arrow
across the continent
do you see success on show
at its height so it glows
a life you might never know
but always covet
the risks of life
a sharpened knife
the odds are rife
in every cupboard .

Bad luck
in the betting book
you know not to push it
but someone else
maybe yourself
will shove it .

The winning cat
will lick his cream
elegant, imperial
silk fur , material
in the painted , pictorial
free from politician bull
harpsichord hills are full
sanity wonderful
you know you can't annul
the dream of life
so powerful .

Thrones and gowns
are we the clowns
who scrounge around
regalities uptown
as they frown
their laughing at your down
they hold all the pennies
in all of the pounds
that you make
the hand of VAT
like the cream and cat
its sure to take
the classes in top hats
that eat your cake
then laugh on beaches
as they bake
old war veterans
freeze and shake
factory fingers get stripped
as the scales are tipped
we always get ripped
theres an obvious mistake
for christs sake
we know this lifes a political
cash for questions
expenses scam
double mortgage fake.

i dare you to translate this it makes no sence

Eltin Torzy

Truthfully speaking,
you're in a sad state, Sweetie.
Your wanna-be rap words flow
like undercooked oatmeal down a gullet:
not cool.

As much as you drool and beat over the ladies
can't stand the boys
(or anybody, really, that gets absolutely no joy
from your vomit on a screen...)
nobody reads you.
Unfortunately, I have to, to make sure
you're not stealing people's words
like the pathetic pick-pocket you try to be.
We see you're just looking for drama
to make your dick hard, Son
but Jaysus, give it a rest.
You're turning out to be nothing but a pest
and your sidekick only checks in
because you gave him a position.
(read that how you want {lmao})

I tried for a second, you know
but I can't even bother coming close
to making this classy like Missy did
Or taking you down in rhyme
like the 'green guy' you disappoint every time
you try to fuck with

and truthfully speaking...
you weren't even worth this
8-minute piss from my fingertips.
Take a bow.