Poetry competition CLOSED 29th January 2024 2:38am
WINNER
PAR (PAULO ACACIO RAMOS)
PAR (PAULO ACACIO RAMOS)
The Big Cheese!
An Awful Cheesy Tale
"Most every poet writes of nothing but cheese."
-- a poet of chalk
*
Here let us loll atop this wall enclosing one soiled maze
wherein a plague of crazed rats races dazed within a haze,
the rodents being bit by fleas on chasing crumbs of cheese
in having cheesy cravings yet both mild and sharp to please;
each pest, a common sewer rat or giant rat most rare,
on scurrying to somewhere scurries not to anywhere,
as quick it crawls round each red bend for crumbs at each dead end,
and crawls it quick for crumbs at each dead end round each red bend;
till sound throughout the maze at once a rhythmic squeak and snap --
while rats to nowhere race beyond the offal splattered trap.
*
-- a poet of chalk
*
Here let us loll atop this wall enclosing one soiled maze
wherein a plague of crazed rats races dazed within a haze,
the rodents being bit by fleas on chasing crumbs of cheese
in having cheesy cravings yet both mild and sharp to please;
each pest, a common sewer rat or giant rat most rare,
on scurrying to somewhere scurries not to anywhere,
as quick it crawls round each red bend for crumbs at each dead end,
and crawls it quick for crumbs at each dead end round each red bend;
till sound throughout the maze at once a rhythmic squeak and snap --
while rats to nowhere race beyond the offal splattered trap.
*
Written by Jordan
(D.O.C.)
Go To Page
CHAMPION CHEESE (a villanelle on 🧀 )
This is a poem just only on cheese
yet if it’s accused of being cheesy
will acquit itself with consummate ease
For cerebral persons who sniff “oh please …”
claiming it makes their stomachs feel queasy
this is just only a poem on cheese
So stuff your learning and college degrees
this poem from Tokyo to Tblisi
acquits itself with popular ease
Now don’t be a nit-pick combing the fleas
stop your polemics all snotty and sneezy
just leave well alone this poem on cheese
Why should I offer some fixed guarantees?
cheese does its own thing, upright or sleazy
this poem scores easy with erudite ease
So let us be kind in times such as these
and learn from the likes of St Francis Assisi —
this only just as a poem on cheese
quits on itself with consumable ease.
This is a poem just only on cheese
yet if it’s accused of being cheesy
will acquit itself with consummate ease
For cerebral persons who sniff “oh please …”
claiming it makes their stomachs feel queasy
this is just only a poem on cheese
So stuff your learning and college degrees
this poem from Tokyo to Tblisi
acquits itself with popular ease
Now don’t be a nit-pick combing the fleas
stop your polemics all snotty and sneezy
just leave well alone this poem on cheese
Why should I offer some fixed guarantees?
cheese does its own thing, upright or sleazy
this poem scores easy with erudite ease
So let us be kind in times such as these
and learn from the likes of St Francis Assisi —
this only just as a poem on cheese
quits on itself with consumable ease.
Judging this competition proved to be extremely difficult, owing to the sheer cheesiness🧀 of all the entries. I'm sure that dear old G. K. Cheesterton🧀 is now smiling down from Heaven, saying, " Well done, fellers! My observation concerning the absence of cheese🧀 from the subjects of poets is no longer true." Finally, however, after careful consideration of the considerable merits of Rew's wit; PAR's anaconda; Wally's rattling anal sphincter🙃; PleasingDragon's slice of very pleasant cheese🧀 indeed; Grace's absolute avalanche of cheese🧀 – has so much cheese🧀 ever before appeared in 25 lines of writing; the unutterable pathos of Ahavati's poem, which had me aching to peel and pop a grape into her mouth; Jordan's rat🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀 invasion and Josh's villanelle, the construction of which is a form well-befitting an engineer, I decided that the Portuguese Cheese🧀 of PAR weighed the heaviest in my poetry scales. So well done, PAR. I hereby declare you to be the Champion of Cheese. 🧀🏆🧀
