Unsent Letters

Why do they refer to me as the Gemini? Who had recurring dreams of a voice singing?    
I woke up confused the shattered remnants of a nightmare inside my head remained. Slowly but steadily I begin to account the content of my recurring dream.      
        
I used to dream of a beautiful voice singing with this letter below;      
       
       
Dear Gemini,        
       
Let me know when you tap Interpol.. I got them a job..        
Hi! Mrs. Angelo.. how's downtown on the harbor?..
Everyday, I sob
I had my revenge  
Remember I promised to amend..    

       
       
One day at night deep in my slumber..        
I woke up all just suddenly..        
My eyes caught a view on my dressing mirror..        
Woman in white our eyes met each others.. She stared at me for what seems like forever..        
Snowy white hair half parted what she looked like..        
She looks so cold giving me such a cerebral fever..        
In later years she kept on showing  on me.. Chasing me just like Apocalypto..        
Right now very optimistic, I am..        
One day we are destined to meet each other..        
       
       
Speak for me in shadow.. let them know I had an access to Naldo.. interrogation for them..        
       
       
For a while now in my sleep.. am not lucid in my dreams.. I can't rest again all night long..        
For quite some time now in my sleep.. am not so lucid in my dreams.. I wanna rest  better in my grave..        
       
       
Largo meet me in Malabo..        
Tell Gallardo I am out of town for a while.. With a heavy heart, I am writing you this letter..        
Take your time you can read it later..        
Right now I cannot handle everything by myself..        
Am such a fool for hiding all these files of fact..        
I was there so I will testify everything that I saw..        
You know the drill truth survives every bit sand of times..        
No rest for me till I put an end to all this chaos..        
There's a light at the end of every tunnel..        
       
       
For quite some time now in my sleep.. I've been so lucid in my dreams.. I wanna rest  better in my grave..    
For some time now in my bed am not too deep in my sleep always screaming in my dreams..        
 

 
I – to my father
I don’t know if I should blame you for leaving,
But you had wounds that never healed,
And after you told me about your father,
I now begin to understand how you feel.
Yet I can’t sympathize with your addiction,
Duty and responsibility is for family first,
And even though you’re at death’s door,
You chose your habit as if you were cursed.
Maybe in your death throes you’ll see the light,
Love lost and found is more than just dumb luck,
Honestly, I said goodbye to you a while ago,
But if you don’t care, why should we give a fuck?

II – to my son
To some degree I still feel that ominous guilt,
I didn’t act right and split like my father,
But reality punched me right in the face,
When in my anger I didn’t want to be bothered.
Every decision I’ve made has affected you,
I took it all away when I just gave it up,
And for years it’s been lingering in us,
I can’t apologize enough to make it up.
You’re a strong young man and you know it,
Your resilience should bring you that joy,
As long as I try to be a part of your life,
To me, you’ll always be my baby boy.

III – to God
At times I had doubts about your existence,
Sitting there all high and mighty on your throne,
But as time went by, I began to realize something,
In a way, we’re tiny gods made of flesh and bone.
The precious gift of life we’ve been bestowed,
Regardless of creed or whatever we choose to believe,
It stands as a reminder that we all have a purpose,
Part of something bigger to what we can conceive.
I take responsibility for my choices and actions,
But life sometimes is a cluster-fuck that’s unfair,
I guess it’s an intricate web of all things you create,
Of all things celestial, somewhere up there.

God took man’s rib to form the woman  
But he took my heart to form you
I’ve lost half my ability to function  
Heartless to every other woman in view  
 
Going through the motions, emotionless  
Not even bothering to pretend  
Ever since you removed your love from me
I can never be more than half of a man  
 
I’ve played the fool for you
I’ve been playing with women’s hearts ever since  
All these ladies wanna be my princess  
But I only wanna be your charming Prince
 
Other women wanna possess me
But I could never be their everything  
I can’t be wholehearted without you  
Without my Queen I’m only part of a King