When Love Leaves You

Shailendra said:Thank you Paul for your kind words...the reason why I favor this style is because of the deep influence that eighteenth century verse has on me with the likes of Dryden,Pope,Samuel Johnson and Thomas Gray where order,balance,symmetry,proportion and harmony reigns supreme...I somehow am unable to scribble in free verse as then
it almost borders on being implicitly prosaic...Moreover,I never believed that such impoverished lines could ever find even a singular word of praise...So,I am thankful to you for all my college teachers said that my verses are hackneyed,destitute and appurtenances of antiquity...So,these words come as something prophylactic...

I would simply say ' onomatapoeic ' :)

Thank you, Paul.

Well one thing is for sure that free verse entails uninhibited expression while there are constraints with the rhyme scheme,caesura,and the poems of contrast and antithesis where wit and judgement play a pivotal role...and this finds corroboration in the couplet that Dryden wrote for Congreve,
"Our age was cultivated thus at length;
But what we gain'd in skill we lost in strength."

So,thank you Paul once again for your kind words...

Insulin for immortal insanity

My swollen eyelids refused to unlock
as your lack leaked
through my dampened mind
crippling my fortitude
the sunlight crept through  
the fragile white curtains,
blinding light forced
my chocolate brown eyes to open
I dragged my will again
to sustain the distinct day,
My life is reduced to
A  packet of readymade noodles
lying in a supermarket
with printed directions to its customers
(to comply with the terms and conditions
for renting a birth on the earth),

A transparent electromagnetic wave  
following the protocol of breathe,

A classy coffin without a corpse

I banged those bare walls
bloated my tears  
as it carried the aura of
the sepia pigmented memories
My intangible being is entrapped
in the confined bubble of time and space.
Crawling the cobweb of Maya
I unfold the path of higher consciousness
sinking my insanity in an immortal suit
and realizing that every relationship is
just a mirage to an oasis of love within the soul

Why set your heart on a piece of earth? Seek out the Source which shines forever. ~ Rumi

AlisVolatPropriis8 said:Why set your heart on a piece of earth? Seek out the Source which shines forever. ~ Rumi
The influence of each human being on others in this life is a kind of immortality. ~ John Quincy Adams

She was Me!!

She still remembers the day they last met.
 
The day they strolled the streets together,
The day when they savoured the flavours,
The day when she spoke nothing,
But let Silence speak her heart.
 
The day when they were together for the last,
The day when the hours flew really fast,
The day which was painful yet so perfect,
She still remembers the day they last met.
 
She remembers how they laughed,
How much she loved to gaze in his eyes,
She knew that she was beholding him,
For the very last time.
 
She beheld him there,
And she beheld him right,
He killed her despair,
Which was hard to fight.
 
She saw him as her Prince,
She took him as her Knight,
It was the day they last met,
How painful was her plight.
 
The moment of parting reached her soul,
She would tremble, she could not hold,
In deep sorrows she shut her eyes,
And tried to hold her soul which cried,
She tried to crush, she tried to mould,
She took decisions meek and bold.
 
Oh! no more could she put in words,
What she felt deep inside,
That lurching yet longing desire,
To stop him for another while.
 
He took her hand in his,
He gave his usual smile,      
How easy it was for him,
To bid that final Goodbye.
 
And then he stepped back,
His hands drew away from her,
He turned and went away,
She stood there,
All numb and motionless,
Her happiness was going,
Will somebody stop Him?
 
She started walking her way,
She looked back but he was not there,
Her heart pounded,
Her mind boggled,
And the entire World thumped around her.
 
She stood there in a state of oblivion,
Hot tears brimmed her eyes,
Her veins turned cold,
It was a feeling untold,
She wished she could unfold,
Her love for him.
 
She reached her house,
She unlocked the door,
Her melancholic figure glided in,
Her purse fell down on the floor.
 
All Doomed, Destitute and Desolate,
Quivering, Flickering, Fluttering like a candle,
She threw herself on her bed and,
Lay there numb and lifeless,
Like an extinguished one.
 
She bellowed like an automaton,
Tears poured down like rain,
In the darkness of her room,
In the gloom of her state,
She found her life grey,
All her dreams went astray.
 
That girl was thwarted, plundered by the world,
That girl was snatched, deprived off her Love,
That girl was weak yet so strong,
That girl could’nt forget that lovely bond.
 
Bound in the shackles of his memories,
She twisted, dwindled and pined,
She had her love and hope burning,
She swore to fight the pre-destined.
 
Now,
 
Let me tell you a secret,
Let me take your breath away,
Let me make you speechless,
Let me make your sense astray.
 
I felt Her pain, I felt Her agony,
I knew what her love meant to be,
I felt it all,
I knew it all.
 
As I Was that girl,
That girl was me,
Surely, I was her,
Indeed, She was me!

AlisVolatPropriis8 said:Insulin for immortal insanity

My swollen eyelids refused to unlock
as your lack leaked
through my dampened mind
crippling my fortitude
the sunlight crept through  
the fragile white curtains,
blinding light forced
my chocolate brown eyes to open
I dragged my will again
to sustain the distinct day,
My life is reduced to
A  packet of readymade noodles
lying in a supermarket
with printed directions to its customers
(to comply with the terms and conditions
for renting a birth on the earth),

A transparent electromagnetic wave  
following the protocol of breathe,

A classy coffin without a corpse

I banged those bare walls
bloated my tears  
as it carried the aura of
the sepia pigmented memories
My intangible being is entrapped
in the confined bubble of time and space.
Crawling the cobweb of Maya
I unfold the path of higher consciousness
sinking my insanity in an immortal suit
and realizing that every relationship is
just a mirage to an oasis of love within the soul


I love the comparatives with instructions and day to day existance great job here  

AlisVolatPropriis8 said:[quote-56922-AlisVolatPropriis8]Why set your heart on a piece of earth? Seek out the Source which shines forever. ~ Rumi
The influence of each human being on others in this life is a kind of immortality. ~ John Quincy Adams[/quote]

yeah a knock on effect forever more

sparshita said:She was Me!!

She still remembers the day they last met.
 
The day they strolled the streets together,
The day when they savoured the flavours,
The day when she spoke nothing,
But let Silence speak her heart.
 
The day when they were together for the last,
The day when the hours flew really fast,
The day which was painful yet so perfect,
She still remembers the day they last met.
 
She remembers how they laughed,
How much she loved to gaze in his eyes,
She knew that she was beholding him,
For the very last time.
 
She beheld him there,
And she beheld him right,
He killed her despair,
Which was hard to fight.
 
She saw him as her Prince,
She took him as her Knight,
It was the day they last met,
How painful was her plight.
 
The moment of parting reached her soul,
She would tremble, she could not hold,
In deep sorrows she shut her eyes,
And tried to hold her soul which cried,
She tried to crush, she tried to mould,
She took decisions meek and bold.
 
Oh! no more could she put in words,
What she felt deep inside,
That lurching yet longing desire,
To stop him for another while.
 
He took her hand in his,
He gave his usual smile,      
How easy it was for him,
To bid that final Goodbye.
 
And then he stepped back,
His hands drew away from her,
He turned and went away,
She stood there,
All numb and motionless,
Her happiness was going,
Will somebody stop Him?
 
She started walking her way,
She looked back but he was not there,
Her heart pounded,
Her mind boggled,
And the entire World thumped around her.
 
She stood there in a state of oblivion,
Hot tears brimmed her eyes,
Her veins turned cold,
It was a feeling untold,
She wished she could unfold,
Her love for him.
 
She reached her house,
She unlocked the door,
Her melancholic figure glided in,
Her purse fell down on the floor.
 
All Doomed, Destitute and Desolate,
Quivering, Flickering, Fluttering like a candle,
She threw herself on her bed and,
Lay there numb and lifeless,
Like an extinguished one.
 
She bellowed like an automaton,
Tears poured down like rain,
In the darkness of her room,
In the gloom of her state,
She found her life grey,
All her dreams went astray.
 
That girl was thwarted, plundered by the world,
That girl was snatched, deprived off her Love,
That girl was weak yet so strong,
That girl could’nt forget that lovely bond.
 
Bound in the shackles of his memories,
She twisted, dwindled and pined,
She had her love and hope burning,
She swore to fight the pre-destined.
 
Now,
 
Let me tell you a secret,
Let me take your breath away,
Let me make you speechless,
Let me make your sense astray.
 
I felt Her pain, I felt Her agony,
I knew what her love meant to be,
I felt it all,
I knew it all.
 
As I Was that girl,
That girl was me,
Surely, I was her,
Indeed, She was me!
 
what a great write wow I loved it

diddi said:[quote-56925-sparshita]She was Me!!

She still remembers the day they last met.
 
The day they strolled the streets together,
The day when they savoured the flavours,
The day when she spoke nothing,
But let Silence speak her heart.
 
The day when they were together for the last,
The day when the hours flew really fast,
The day which was painful yet so perfect,
She still remembers the day they last met.
 
She remembers how they laughed,
How much she loved to gaze in his eyes,
She knew that she was beholding him,
For the very last time.
 
She beheld him there,
And she beheld him right,
He killed her despair,
Which was hard to fight.
 
She saw him as her Prince,
She took him as her Knight,
It was the day they last met,
How painful was her plight.
 
The moment of parting reached her soul,
She would tremble, she could not hold,
In deep sorrows she shut her eyes,
And tried to hold her soul which cried,
She tried to crush, she tried to mould,
She took decisions meek and bold.
 
Oh! no more could she put in words,
What she felt deep inside,
That lurching yet longing desire,
To stop him for another while.
 
He took her hand in his,
He gave his usual smile,      
How easy it was for him,
To bid that final Goodbye.
 
And then he stepped back,
His hands drew away from her,
He turned and went away,
She stood there,
All numb and motionless,
Her happiness was going,
Will somebody stop Him?
 
She started walking her way,
She looked back but he was not there,
Her heart pounded,
Her mind boggled,
And the entire World thumped around her.
 
She stood there in a state of oblivion,
Hot tears brimmed her eyes,
Her veins turned cold,
It was a feeling untold,
She wished she could unfold,
Her love for him.
 
She reached her house,
She unlocked the door,
Her melancholic figure glided in,
Her purse fell down on the floor.
 
All Doomed, Destitute and Desolate,
Quivering, Flickering, Fluttering like a candle,
She threw herself on her bed and,
Lay there numb and lifeless,
Like an extinguished one.
 
She bellowed like an automaton,
Tears poured down like rain,
In the darkness of her room,
In the gloom of her state,
She found her life grey,
All her dreams went astray.
 
That girl was thwarted, plundered by the world,
That girl was snatched, deprived off her Love,
That girl was weak yet so strong,
That girl could’nt forget that lovely bond.
 
Bound in the shackles of his memories,
She twisted, dwindled and pined,
She had her love and hope burning,
She swore to fight the pre-destined.
 
Now,
 
Let me tell you a secret,
Let me take your breath away,
Let me make you speechless,
Let me make your sense astray.
 
I felt Her pain, I felt Her agony,
I knew what her love meant to be,
I felt it all,
I knew it all.
 
As I Was that girl,
That girl was me,
Surely, I was her,
Indeed, She was me!
 
what a great write wow I loved it [/quote]

Gee...thank u so much...it is one of my oldest poems...when love actually left me...not many have liked it though...i'm glad you did...

sparshita said:[quote-56933-diddi][quote-56925-sparshita]She was Me!!

She still remembers the day they last met.
 
The day they strolled the streets together,
The day when they savoured the flavours,
The day when she spoke nothing,
But let Silence speak her heart.
 
The day when they were together for the last,
The day when the hours flew really fast,
The day which was painful yet so perfect,
She still remembers the day they last met.
 
She remembers how they laughed,
How much she loved to gaze in his eyes,
She knew that she was beholding him,
For the very last time.
 
She beheld him there,
And she beheld him right,
He killed her despair,
Which was hard to fight.
 
She saw him as her Prince,
She took him as her Knight,
It was the day they last met,
How painful was her plight.
 
The moment of parting reached her soul,
She would tremble, she could not hold,
In deep sorrows she shut her eyes,
And tried to hold her soul which cried,
She tried to crush, she tried to mould,
She took decisions meek and bold.
 
Oh! no more could she put in words,
What she felt deep inside,
That lurching yet longing desire,
To stop him for another while.
 
He took her hand in his,
He gave his usual smile,      
How easy it was for him,
To bid that final Goodbye.
 
And then he stepped back,
His hands drew away from her,
He turned and went away,
She stood there,
All numb and motionless,
Her happiness was going,
Will somebody stop Him?
 
She started walking her way,
She looked back but he was not there,
Her heart pounded,
Her mind boggled,
And the entire World thumped around her.
 
She stood there in a state of oblivion,
Hot tears brimmed her eyes,
Her veins turned cold,
It was a feeling untold,
She wished she could unfold,
Her love for him.
 
She reached her house,
She unlocked the door,
Her melancholic figure glided in,
Her purse fell down on the floor.
 
All Doomed, Destitute and Desolate,
Quivering, Flickering, Fluttering like a candle,
She threw herself on her bed and,
Lay there numb and lifeless,
Like an extinguished one.
 
She bellowed like an automaton,
Tears poured down like rain,
In the darkness of her room,
In the gloom of her state,
She found her life grey,
All her dreams went astray.
 
That girl was thwarted, plundered by the world,
That girl was snatched, deprived off her Love,
That girl was weak yet so strong,
That girl could’nt forget that lovely bond.
 
Bound in the shackles of his memories,
She twisted, dwindled and pined,
She had her love and hope burning,
She swore to fight the pre-destined.
 
Now,
 
Let me tell you a secret,
Let me take your breath away,
Let me make you speechless,
Let me make your sense astray.
 
I felt Her pain, I felt Her agony,
I knew what her love meant to be,
I felt it all,
I knew it all.
 
As I Was that girl,
That girl was me,
Surely, I was her,
Indeed, She was me!
 
what a great write wow I loved it [/quote]

Gee...thank u so much...it is one of my oldest poems...when love actually left me...not many have liked it though...i'm glad you did...[/quote]  

why shouldn't they like it ? I think it's really good anyway  so bollocks to the none believers ha ha ha

thank u so much paul....

Thankyou so much .... I loved writing for this very topic Paul*