Calling all Vogons!
Anonymous
Poetry Contest Description
Worst possible poem
For anyone who has read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, you already know what I'm talking about here. For everyone else, write the worst possible poem you can. For this one time the award goes to the most painful poem imaginable. Even as a cringe and brace myself, I'm looking forward to seeing what you've got.
*New writes only
*3 weeks
That's it! Hit me with your worst!
*Afterthought...I dare you to enter a voice reading...
*New writes only
*3 weeks
That's it! Hit me with your worst!
*Afterthought...I dare you to enter a voice reading...
Blackwolf
I.M.Blackwolf
Forum Posts: 3572
I.M.Blackwolf
Tyrant of Words
13
Joined 31st Mar 2018 Forum Posts: 3572
I No U HafCrb ND I WantSum !
Hinosis beschmel pummeled crabseard bibejuledtreburnt ,
Hiporspashalfud bimidmnd , wilcnductng bsnsdeels b -outt
Brkn bch chrs nd mlded mdlslgships , longtm tuschml , yt
Idu thnkng nd ufwrlds and mmblng rndmfahte mntersss ;
Givtominiowwordi ree ssistnceis u cillus !
( Just in case one can not figure this out in Vogon :
High Noses Be Smell Pummeled Crab Seared By Bejeweled Tree Burnt
Hyperspatial Food By My Demand While Conducting Business Deals
About Broken Back Chairs And Melded Model Slugships Long Time
To Smile Yet I Do Thinking End Of Worlds And Mumbling Random Fate
Mantras Give To Me Now Or Die , Resistance Is Useless ! )
Hiporspashalfud bimidmnd , wilcnductng bsnsdeels b -outt
Brkn bch chrs nd mlded mdlslgships , longtm tuschml , yt
Idu thnkng nd ufwrlds and mmblng rndmfahte mntersss ;
Givtominiowwordi ree ssistnceis u cillus !
( Just in case one can not figure this out in Vogon :
High Noses Be Smell Pummeled Crab Seared By Bejeweled Tree Burnt
Hyperspatial Food By My Demand While Conducting Business Deals
About Broken Back Chairs And Melded Model Slugships Long Time
To Smile Yet I Do Thinking End Of Worlds And Mumbling Random Fate
Mantras Give To Me Now Or Die , Resistance Is Useless ! )
Written by Blackwolf
(I.M.Blackwolf)
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snugglebuck
Forum Posts: 1873
Dangerous Mind
77
Joined 3rd Feb 2014Forum Posts: 1873
highwaytohell
Greg
Joined 24th Sep 2015
Forum Posts: 449
Greg
Thought Provoker
Forum Posts: 449
Here is my entry:
Ready?
You sure?
Wanna grab a coffee?
This poem in all its infinite infinite infinity needless to say is finite fortified by words consisting of letters to express logical illogical emotions that sellers exploit to make sales and while doing so sell their souls souls that are both there and not there and at the end they go into a fire or a cloud or a great hall or tartarus or is born again all while other souls contemplate life's meaning that is meaningless.
42
Ready?
You sure?
Wanna grab a coffee?
This poem in all its infinite infinite infinity needless to say is finite fortified by words consisting of letters to express logical illogical emotions that sellers exploit to make sales and while doing so sell their souls souls that are both there and not there and at the end they go into a fire or a cloud or a great hall or tartarus or is born again all while other souls contemplate life's meaning that is meaningless.
42
rabbitquest
Forum Posts: 2051
Dangerous Mind
2
Joined 20th May 2012Forum Posts: 2051
URL read error
SourMelon0313
H
Forum Posts: 215
H
Fire of Insight
5
Joined 6th Oct 2017Forum Posts: 215
The Best POem
Dis da-BEST
worded so elagant-ly
fun fum yer eyes enjoy-est
purf-ect grame-er intelligenital-ly
with cum-posed thoughs
writtan wiyth beau-ty
right write, dis you boughs!
Rhymes so ss-well
wher 'yo eyes just FLAM!
you cannot fortune-tell
when dis go BAM
Bu-uuh baa-BAM!
WhazZzAAM!
Chi-chang tang kang
Goes 'ye eyes ba-BAM!
Da best poem is I, I, I!
RaciSt jokes
& whEre only SOME are equal
WoMen go marchin' to da bed
aNd mEn go marchin' to da war
What's freedom?
dIs a COMMUNIST POEM
Dictatorship is how dis RULZ YO BALLs
tHis genitalia ROCKS dat Gurl
yO
yAh
HaY
Oy
yEs tHis DA BEST
poem
AndyJHale
Forum Posts: 5
Twisted Dreamer
1
Joined 31st Mar 2018Forum Posts: 5
lol
Blackwolf
I.M.Blackwolf
Forum Posts: 3572
I.M.Blackwolf
Tyrant of Words
13
Joined 31st Mar 2018 Forum Posts: 3572
Mi' Lady From The Ash :
Howl Doth One Post A Reading ?
I Would Dare To Attempt Such...but do not blame me ,
if brains explode , or bodies discombobulate ...;)
Howl Doth One Post A Reading ?
I Would Dare To Attempt Such...but do not blame me ,
if brains explode , or bodies discombobulate ...;)
Anonymous
Blackwolf said:Mi' Lady From The Ash :
Howl Doth One Post A Reading ?
I Would Dare To Attempt Such...but do not blame me ,
if brains explode , or bodies discombobulate ...;)
Well, I'm not sure I'm the most qualified to explain how it's done. I've never posted one myself. But as I'm given to understand, there are 2 ways to do the reading itself:
1 - You can use the simplest method and use vocaroo.com, which provides you with an instant link.
2. - Or you can use YouTube, which is more complicated. You would first need to create a video with software, save it as an .mp4 and then upload it to YouTube.
If you upload the voice recording or video through your regular posting it should appear here as well. Does that answer your question sufficiently?
Howl Doth One Post A Reading ?
I Would Dare To Attempt Such...but do not blame me ,
if brains explode , or bodies discombobulate ...;)
Well, I'm not sure I'm the most qualified to explain how it's done. I've never posted one myself. But as I'm given to understand, there are 2 ways to do the reading itself:
1 - You can use the simplest method and use vocaroo.com, which provides you with an instant link.
2. - Or you can use YouTube, which is more complicated. You would first need to create a video with software, save it as an .mp4 and then upload it to YouTube.
If you upload the voice recording or video through your regular posting it should appear here as well. Does that answer your question sufficiently?
Blackwolf
I.M.Blackwolf
Forum Posts: 3572
I.M.Blackwolf
Tyrant of Words
13
Joined 31st Mar 2018 Forum Posts: 3572
Thank you , for your prompt answer , and yes , it begins the process...
I believe if I have more questions , I can go to "Spoken Word" forum ,
as I now see that advice is given there as well...we shall see what fruit
this tree shall bear ( if the Vogons do not burn it first ! )
Best To You !
I believe if I have more questions , I can go to "Spoken Word" forum ,
as I now see that advice is given there as well...we shall see what fruit
this tree shall bear ( if the Vogons do not burn it first ! )
Best To You !