Transformation

Your always so bad ass

Love it

I want to peel back my flesh and show you
Show you deep down just how warped I really am
I have no soul to speak of I lost that long ago
That thing is long gone lost among the wreckage
The wreckage that I call my “life” if you will
Haven’t don’t much that I can say I am proud of
Why did I crash and burn?
That’s easy
I didn’t really crash though it was an implosion
Self-destruction
Everything so wound up tight
The abuse, fear, hatred
No not fear terror, terror of what was next
I could handle the hatred from my mother
The drunken beating and the sob story in the morning
I could even handle the absentee father
Who could only be bothered when he needed an alibi
What really made me snap was the sleepless nights
How was I going to tell my mother what happened
I knew she would call me a liar
The bruises could easily have been hers
But the baby that one was impossible to explain
She still doesn’t know never will
What gives her the right?
I changed that night
In a pool of my own blood tottering on the edge
The edge of life and death
But the blood, so much coming out of me
My frail body convulsing and twisting in agony
On a friends dirty bathroom floor
As my young body aborted the child I had just decided to keep
That night I died in all the ways except the one that really counted
Tears gushing down my face as I hold my little angel in my arms
Begging for this to be a nightmare something I can wake from
Something other than what it really was
That night I became someone different, something different
I was heartless, careless, downright cold blooded
There was no going back at that point why would I want to
The new me was better she couldn’t be hurt riding that trill
Seeking greater highs, climbing higher and higher
Never afraid to fall to the ground
I guess you could say I wanted to fall
But not because I wanted to die, but to feel something
Something other than terror and hatred
And I found it, on top of a water tower
Sitting with my feet dangling over the edge
Knowing that no one could stop me
For once I was fighting on my own terms

Run

Run
Run as far and as fast as you can,
And when you feel like your lungs and legs are about to give out,
Don’t take a breath or else death will catch you,
Don’t look back but keep running.

The sound you hear whizzing by your ears,
Has only one purpose,
Its fatality in a tiny shell,
Like hell even if only one catches you,
So just keep running.

But you won’t be able to run away,
From the memories of those horrifying and gory scenes,
They’ll come back in nightmares and dreams saying:
You were one of the lucky ones to run
And get away,
Whatever fate and God protected you,
No matter how scared you were
You made it through,
Unlike others, you got to live another day.

Whenever I go on those early pre-dawn runs,
In the rhythm of my breathing I hear that ghostly echo,
Images of people and blood in the streets.
Civil war can change a boy into a man,
Quicker than anything,
When all I had to do was run,
As fast as I could.

Amway like the way u write