Lyrics Seeking Honest Critique
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lyrics seeking honest critique. Honest feedback has been requested for these poems.
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
Today 10:25am
Today 10:25am
Fight to live
Eighteen dollars to her name
Can’t survive, it’s all the same
In need of food for her kids
Drugs & booze the way she lives
No ambition to get a job
Unless it’s slobbing on someone’s knob
How much lower can you go
You’ll be remembered as a filthy ho
You must fight to live
You must fight to live
You must fight to live
Inside your fucked up selfish mind
Sleazy strip malls is where you hang
Beware the rats with long sharp fangs
Behind the store to get your fix
Fever ignored, getting real sick
...
Can’t survive, it’s all the same
In need of food for her kids
Drugs & booze the way she lives
No ambition to get a job
Unless it’s slobbing on someone’s knob
How much lower can you go
You’ll be remembered as a filthy ho
You must fight to live
You must fight to live
You must fight to live
Inside your fucked up selfish mind
Sleazy strip malls is where you hang
Beware the rats with long sharp fangs
Behind the store to get your fix
Fever ignored, getting real sick
...
#addiction
#children
#drugs
#lyrics
#poverty
4 reads
0 Comments
summultima
uma
uma
Poem Published
Yesterday 8:24pm
Yesterday 8:24pm
~Our Fusing Breaths, of “-UYIR”:: body, mind, soul
(an inspired lyrical
(female lyrical in italics, male lyrical in non-italics)
inspired from the 1998 Tamil film #UyiroduUyiraga..
…from its its soulful~ romantic love number linked below)
https://youtu.be/RpljvhSoyCo?feature=shared
(Intro Refrain)
my darling my love...
you are my child
just this flesh alone, is not love
for the lifetimes lived on this earth
in all truth, your soul will arrive unto me
for the lifetimes lived on this earth
in all...
(female lyrical in italics, male lyrical in non-italics)
inspired from the 1998 Tamil film #UyiroduUyiraga..
…from its its soulful~ romantic love number linked below)
https://youtu.be/RpljvhSoyCo?feature=shared
(Intro Refrain)
my darling my love...
you are my child
just this flesh alone, is not love
for the lifetimes lived on this earth
in all truth, your soul will arrive unto me
for the lifetimes lived on this earth
in all...
#inspirational
#love
#lyrics
#romantic
#spiritual
50 reads
2 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
Yesterday 10:58am
Yesterday 10:58am
Baby it's you
So many times when I look or hear about people being lonely
I have a feeling of sadness deep inside
It makes me wonder if I would have been alone, before I found you
What would happen if you turned around and said goodbye
Honey it's you
you're what I'm living for
I have it all, nothing more
right from the start when I found you
Baby it's you
you were the one for me
the one who's been making me see
the world with you is such a brighter place
I now realize it's you
you are my brightest star
whether you're...
I have a feeling of sadness deep inside
It makes me wonder if I would have been alone, before I found you
What would happen if you turned around and said goodbye
Honey it's you
you're what I'm living for
I have it all, nothing more
right from the start when I found you
Baby it's you
you were the one for me
the one who's been making me see
the world with you is such a brighter place
I now realize it's you
you are my brightest star
whether you're...
#loneliness
#love
#lyrics
#relationships
#romantic
64 reads
6 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
10th Apr 2025 00:19am
10th Apr 2025 00:19am
Shadow of Fear
You can drive a car if you do it right
but you can't go far if it puts you out of sight
you can't look at girls
you can't drink anything
you got to get your kicks in the shadow of fear
You stay out late when they think your young
then they find out, there gonna want you hung
so you try to understand that you might get near
cause your lost alone in the shadow of fear
So you found a chick that you think is fine
but you fell too fast so you lost your mind
society looks, but they turn their ears
you got to get your kicks in...
but you can't go far if it puts you out of sight
you can't look at girls
you can't drink anything
you got to get your kicks in the shadow of fear
You stay out late when they think your young
then they find out, there gonna want you hung
so you try to understand that you might get near
cause your lost alone in the shadow of fear
So you found a chick that you think is fine
but you fell too fast so you lost your mind
society looks, but they turn their ears
you got to get your kicks in...
#FeelingTrapped
#lyrics
#rebellion
#rhyming
#teens
41 reads
6 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
10th Apr 2025 00:17am
10th Apr 2025 00:17am
Pecker Slapper
#dirty
#family
#funny
#lyrics
#sex
92 reads
4 Comments
PoetSpeak
Poem Published
9th Apr 2025 9:49pm
9th Apr 2025 9:49pm
Song Lyrics inspired by Muse Xx
I want 2
Save you
Enslave you
Bathe you
In love
I gave you
Vodka
Lime
Mind
Grime
Out of time
Thought
Caught
Haute
Wrought
I want 2
Save you
Enslave you
Bathe you
Make you mine
Even if ....
You're going prime
Medium
Rare
I stare
I don't care
Catch me
Report me
Slash me
Cash me
Flash me
It's a dare
Save you
Enslave you
Bathe you
In love
I gave you
Vodka
Lime
Mind
Grime
Out of time
Thought
Caught
Haute
Wrought
I want 2
Save you
Enslave you
Bathe you
Make you mine
Even if ....
You're going prime
Medium
Rare
I stare
I don't care
Catch me
Report me
Slash me
Cash me
Flash me
It's a dare
#crush
#lover
#lyrics
#music
#PopCulture
79 reads
21 Comments
summultima
uma
uma
Poem Published
9th Apr 2025 9:04pm
9th Apr 2025 9:04pm
~a die-hard supernaturalistic love... this is
https://youtu.be/eDQPwBuJMrs
https://youtu.be/gL0z7S-PxVA?feature=shared
my sizzling young angelic beauty..
am just a flaming spirit orbiting you ..
vanished are those tears of love
..without you, am nothing…this now
(refrain)
my sizzling young angelic beauty..
am just a flaming spirit orbiting you ..
vanished are those tears of love
..without you, am...
https://youtu.be/gL0z7S-PxVA?feature=shared
my sizzling young angelic beauty..
am just a flaming spirit orbiting you ..
vanished are those tears of love
..without you, am nothing…this now
(refrain)
my sizzling young angelic beauty..
am just a flaming spirit orbiting you ..
vanished are those tears of love
..without you, am...
#graveyard
#inspirational
#love
#lyrics
#mystery
58 reads
2 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
9th Apr 2025 10:38am
9th Apr 2025 10:38am
Time Has Come Today
Synchronize your tiny minds, so you'll catch what I say
spread some crumbs on your path, so you won't lose your way
sunset sinks beneath the hill, the end of another day
the time has come for sleep again, i turn my head away
The darkness falls around me
once again, it has found me
i need to focus within me
the time has come to dream
I must hang tightly to the rope or I'll fall 10,000 feet
They give me a warning one more time, before I awake from sleep
I feel the shadow coming near, I feel the searing heat
I know if I don't...
spread some crumbs on your path, so you won't lose your way
sunset sinks beneath the hill, the end of another day
the time has come for sleep again, i turn my head away
The darkness falls around me
once again, it has found me
i need to focus within me
the time has come to dream
I must hang tightly to the rope or I'll fall 10,000 feet
They give me a warning one more time, before I awake from sleep
I feel the shadow coming near, I feel the searing heat
I know if I don't...
#dreams
#fiction
#lyrics
#nightmares
#rhyming
60 reads
8 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
9th Apr 2025 1:10am
9th Apr 2025 1:10am
My Love Is Gone
If I had wings like a dove
I'd fly down the river, to the one I love
Like a breeze in the morning
My love will come
Woke up this morning
It was drizzlin' rain
And around my heart
Felt an achin' pain
Like a breeze in the morning
My love had gone
Had me a woman
She was short & sweet
She moved her body, from her head down to her feet
Like the winds of morning
My love has gone
Like a breeze in the morning
My love has gone
I'd fly down the river, to the one I love
Like a breeze in the morning
My love will come
Woke up this morning
It was drizzlin' rain
And around my heart
Felt an achin' pain
Like a breeze in the morning
My love had gone
Had me a woman
She was short & sweet
She moved her body, from her head down to her feet
Like the winds of morning
My love has gone
Like a breeze in the morning
My love has gone
#heartbroken
#love
#lyrics
#rhyming
#sadness
69 reads
8 Comments
Hatful-of-Hollow
Poem Published
3rd Apr 2025 6:12pm
3rd Apr 2025 6:12pm
Death of the Music Thread
Let me sing the dying roses
of barbed (radio) wire bouquets,
MacGowan whispered to Sinead
“aren’t these the reasons why we lived
sang the measure of our dreams.”
The jukebox will never die
the final beat of each heart attack,
even never played symphonies
will find fingers on their piano
Russian who etched her soul
on lyrical ectoplasm, shrouded
in Kremlin mists of orchestral fists,
Norwegian who stripped bark from every tree
left wood splinters in eternal oceanic seas,
the Tamil girl who sang the negligee of...
of barbed (radio) wire bouquets,
MacGowan whispered to Sinead
“aren’t these the reasons why we lived
sang the measure of our dreams.”
The jukebox will never die
the final beat of each heart attack,
even never played symphonies
will find fingers on their piano
Russian who etched her soul
on lyrical ectoplasm, shrouded
in Kremlin mists of orchestral fists,
Norwegian who stripped bark from every tree
left wood splinters in eternal oceanic seas,
the Tamil girl who sang the negligee of...
#lyrics
48 reads
0 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
28th Mar 2025 9:39pm
28th Mar 2025 9:39pm
The Upbringing
Your parents have a problem and you live in constant pain
Your atmosphere is darkness as you begin to go insane
And the way you're going, you'll turn out the same
You hear the words of wisdom as you practice what they tell
You follow your parents teachings, as they threaten you to hell
And the way you're going, you'll turn out the same
My advice to you, is to follow what's in your heart
For if you don't, you'll be finished before you ever start
And the way you're going, you'll turn out the same
Your atmosphere is darkness as you begin to go insane
And the way you're going, you'll turn out the same
You hear the words of wisdom as you practice what they tell
You follow your parents teachings, as they threaten you to hell
And the way you're going, you'll turn out the same
My advice to you, is to follow what's in your heart
For if you don't, you'll be finished before you ever start
And the way you're going, you'll turn out the same
#LifeStruggles
#lyrics
#parent
#religion
#rhyming
95 reads
8 Comments
PoetSpeak
Poem Published
9th Mar 2025 7:26pm
9th Mar 2025 7:26pm
The Lonliness
The loneliness
It grabs at my heart
The loneliness
An affair from the start
The loneliness
You pulled me in
The loneliness
I'm your broken sin
The loneliness
I hope and pray
The loneliness
You made me pay
Chorus
I was wrong, wrong, wrong
Never knew how to be strong
I was wrong, wrong, wrong
I'm no hero till I'm gone
You took me in
You gave me a pen
You showed me your bed
You gave me head
You fed me your food ...
It grabs at my heart
The loneliness
An affair from the start
The loneliness
You pulled me in
The loneliness
I'm your broken sin
The loneliness
I hope and pray
The loneliness
You made me pay
Chorus
I was wrong, wrong, wrong
Never knew how to be strong
I was wrong, wrong, wrong
I'm no hero till I'm gone
You took me in
You gave me a pen
You showed me your bed
You gave me head
You fed me your food ...
#loneliness
#lyrics
#WritingPoetry
211 reads
33 Comments
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