Lyrics Seeking Honest Critique
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lyrics seeking honest critique. Honest feedback has been requested for these poems.
Razzerleaf
Poem Published
16th Apr 2024 2:57pm
16th Apr 2024 2:57pm
The Devils in the detail
Turn all the lights way down low,
come over here and we can take it slow,
you know its you I need to keep it real,
lost inside the way you make me feel.
I'm riding alone on a midnight train,
lost and lonely in the freezing rain
Last of the lovers at the end of time,
in those arms the world starts to unwind.
A warm sun coming over that hill
its bitter sweet as you take that pill.
I'm riding alone on a midnight train
lost and lonely in the freezing rain
The devils in the detail
she's on that...
come over here and we can take it slow,
you know its you I need to keep it real,
lost inside the way you make me feel.
I'm riding alone on a midnight train,
lost and lonely in the freezing rain
Last of the lovers at the end of time,
in those arms the world starts to unwind.
A warm sun coming over that hill
its bitter sweet as you take that pill.
I'm riding alone on a midnight train
lost and lonely in the freezing rain
The devils in the detail
she's on that...
#NaPoWriMo2024
#music
#lyrics
36 reads
0 Comments
Razzerleaf
Poem Published
16th Apr 2024 2:26pm
16th Apr 2024 2:26pm
When the thunder comes
There's a place where only locals go,
I'll take you down to a late night show.
We'll go dancing in the pouring rain,
watch as the lightning writes your name
And if you start to lose control
just let the music fill your soul.
There's loud guitars and heavy drums,
it's a place to hide when the thunder comes.
Your spotlight burns a hole in me
going to let your music set me free,
when the storms come and the sky goes black
and my mind feels I'm under attack.
And If I start to lose control
I'll let the...
I'll take you down to a late night show.
We'll go dancing in the pouring rain,
watch as the lightning writes your name
And if you start to lose control
just let the music fill your soul.
There's loud guitars and heavy drums,
it's a place to hide when the thunder comes.
Your spotlight burns a hole in me
going to let your music set me free,
when the storms come and the sky goes black
and my mind feels I'm under attack.
And If I start to lose control
I'll let the...
#lyrics
#NaPoWriMo2024
#music
47 reads
2 Comments
PoetSpeak
Poem Published
30th Mar 2024 6:52pm
30th Mar 2024 6:52pm
8869215
That was my number
The story goes without saying
Absolutely Sweet Marie
To live outside the law you must be honest
Blonde on Blonde
Mr. Bob Dylan
Some say you’re dating yourself
I never let me down
The story goes without saying
Absolutely Sweet Marie
To live outside the law you must be honest
Blonde on Blonde
Mr. Bob Dylan
Some say you’re dating yourself
I never let me down
#music
#lyrics
#TruthOfLife
#art
#philosophical
101 reads
16 Comments
PAR
Poem Published
14th Mar 2024 7:44pm
14th Mar 2024 7:44pm
String Instruments
What's the point of so many rhythmic lines?...
Row, rhyme and rum
They are just waves in the same sea.
Seagull murmurs
like someone singing a fado or two
or it will come to sing much later.
Arrange drawers, sticks and prints
from left to right in an order
almost alphabetical.
Unhinged fairies blessing the sound
of a lute, a guitar and a banjo.
Without wings, without bones, like angels!
Pain descriptive nonconformities
that passes through the brain shamelessly
Bloodlust of a dark predator.
...
Row, rhyme and rum
They are just waves in the same sea.
Seagull murmurs
like someone singing a fado or two
or it will come to sing much later.
Arrange drawers, sticks and prints
from left to right in an order
almost alphabetical.
Unhinged fairies blessing the sound
of a lute, a guitar and a banjo.
Without wings, without bones, like angels!
Pain descriptive nonconformities
that passes through the brain shamelessly
Bloodlust of a dark predator.
...
#music
#rhyming
#lyrics
48 reads
4 Comments
cabcool
Poem Published
6th Mar 2024 11:00pm
6th Mar 2024 11:00pm
the pleasant land
The people refused to enter The Pleasant Land, for they wouldn’t
believe His promise to care for them.”― Psalm 106:24 NLT
the silent night sings strange songs,
whose tonics bring no healing to my soul;
for melodies my heart longs,
to classify the pieces of my whole
into their sovereign places.
discordant chords rage bitter
upon the palate of my reverie,
no resolutions fitter
for tears that rivulet my eyes. i see
life's unrepentant faces
that, like the sun, delude me,
though on the edge of...
believe His promise to care for them.”― Psalm 106:24 NLT
the silent night sings strange songs,
whose tonics bring no healing to my soul;
for melodies my heart longs,
to classify the pieces of my whole
into their sovereign places.
discordant chords rage bitter
upon the palate of my reverie,
no resolutions fitter
for tears that rivulet my eyes. i see
life's unrepentant faces
that, like the sun, delude me,
though on the edge of...
#utopia
#mountains
#music
#lyrics
#travel
77 reads
0 Comments
Abracadabra
Poem Published
20th Feb 2024 8:45am
20th Feb 2024 8:45am
Gods of Rhyme
Maybe she's a goddess
maybe he's a god
all the poets I've known
are bound to give them the nod
We all bend the knee
when it's writing time
when the words stream down
from the gods of rhyme
When the words keep bouncing
round your head
you can't help wonder
where your pen gets led
From the clearest mountain
where reason flies
to the darkest corner
with unseeing eyes
I knew my beginnings
but I don't know the end
so there's no sense guessing
if a rhyme's your friend
...
maybe he's a god
all the poets I've known
are bound to give them the nod
We all bend the knee
when it's writing time
when the words stream down
from the gods of rhyme
When the words keep bouncing
round your head
you can't help wonder
where your pen gets led
From the clearest mountain
where reason flies
to the darkest corner
with unseeing eyes
I knew my beginnings
but I don't know the end
so there's no sense guessing
if a rhyme's your friend
...
#lyrics
#LifeAsAWriter
#unicorns
85 reads
3 Comments
NANCY_RDZ_STORIES
Poem Published
10th Feb 2024 1:36am
10th Feb 2024 1:36am
BEFORE TIME IS UP
I never thought
I would wind up in love
The way it came, to like what it brought
It hit me hard, in the heart, nooo noooo
A huge shot...
(Gun sound)
Now I'm clingy, I feel attached,
I'm so crazy, I'm so fucked.....
My mind now, it'll rush to rot,
Inside in, inside out
Maybe it's the one, maybe it's not
I'm escaping this now,
Before time is up
Before time is up...
Before time is up
Before time is up
Oh nooo
Before time is up.....
Oooooooo
What now???
If my time is up..... ...
I would wind up in love
The way it came, to like what it brought
It hit me hard, in the heart, nooo noooo
A huge shot...
(Gun sound)
Now I'm clingy, I feel attached,
I'm so crazy, I'm so fucked.....
My mind now, it'll rush to rot,
Inside in, inside out
Maybe it's the one, maybe it's not
I'm escaping this now,
Before time is up
Before time is up...
Before time is up
Before time is up
Oh nooo
Before time is up.....
Oooooooo
What now???
If my time is up..... ...
#lyrics
168 reads
4 Comments
Write-On
Poem Published
29th Jan 2024 00:59am
29th Jan 2024 00:59am
Dweller In The Dwelling (lyrics by David Eugene Edwards, cut-up)
ivy laurel I'm on it The light I'm As magic The quiet Menace the Fable of bees Shinning cypress At the great floor In the pallor of curses Orphic the pool The pool inside her Oracle Tammuz Rung hanging bell of Shiva Jangling lesser am still
The light celeste Indus flooding Nile Euphrates to the sun Your graces they archaic wounds to bind Is it light I'm on it Myrte olive ivy begotten form Your faces they are without regard Corn tail Alabaster Serpent mound Come up
Come up Down Tore psychic shroud you wore So is no place Save here In the Western Hold your breath...
The light celeste Indus flooding Nile Euphrates to the sun Your graces they archaic wounds to bind Is it light I'm on it Myrte olive ivy begotten form Your faces they are without regard Corn tail Alabaster Serpent mound Come up
Come up Down Tore psychic shroud you wore So is no place Save here In the Western Hold your breath...
#lyrics
51 reads
0 Comments
Carpe_Noctem
Poem Published
24th Jan 2024 10:34pm
24th Jan 2024 10:34pm
You and Eye got a Screw loose
Whos to say who's the arsonist ?
Who's the accelerant in this pyre?
Maybe it was those green eyes
Gazing within the lunatic asylum
As opposite attractions drawn
Moths dancing the flame
Beneath the spoon
All that's left to say
I got nothing better to do
Than to get fucked up on you
Baby I'm not a heroin girl
Cocaine cowbell speed freak
Baby gotta confess
It's oblivion I seek
Hand in hand riding the lighting
Prescription pètes pleasure cruise
All the while pickling a liver...
Who's the accelerant in this pyre?
Maybe it was those green eyes
Gazing within the lunatic asylum
As opposite attractions drawn
Moths dancing the flame
Beneath the spoon
All that's left to say
I got nothing better to do
Than to get fucked up on you
Baby I'm not a heroin girl
Cocaine cowbell speed freak
Baby gotta confess
It's oblivion I seek
Hand in hand riding the lighting
Prescription pètes pleasure cruise
All the while pickling a liver...
#lyrics
#steampunk
#PopCulture
129 reads
8 Comments
cabcool
Poem Published
1st Jan 2024 00:38am
1st Jan 2024 00:38am
psalm 12
a testament of praise
_____of andrew, on the dawning of a new day_____
A cappella voice♫
1 when i toasted in the fire,
behold, You were with me;
when i fluttered in the water,
You saw my agony.
Add flutes♫
2 when shades of night
consumed my light,
You were the lamp
that lit my camp.
3 when, all day long,
raged wild a throng
ripe for the kill,
You said, be still!
Senza flutes♫
4 when i laboured in my shackles,
You bore the yoke for me;
5 when i tackled my debacles,...
_____of andrew, on the dawning of a new day_____
A cappella voice♫
1 when i toasted in the fire,
behold, You were with me;
when i fluttered in the water,
You saw my agony.
Add flutes♫
2 when shades of night
consumed my light,
You were the lamp
that lit my camp.
3 when, all day long,
raged wild a throng
ripe for the kill,
You said, be still!
Senza flutes♫
4 when i laboured in my shackles,
You bore the yoke for me;
5 when i tackled my debacles,...
#music
#lyrics
#MyInspiration #prayer
#MyInspiration #prayer
79 reads
0 Comments
Nizana
Lauryn
Lauryn
Poem Published
8th Dec 2023 2:07pm
8th Dec 2023 2:07pm
When Creation Says It's Time
(Verse 1) In a darkened sky where stars align,
The universe gave us a love divine.
Guiding paths through the cosmic dance,
We found each other, a fateful chance.
(Chorus) Mother Nature tied us, a celestial tether,
We were one, so bound together.
But our love it was sacred dance, a tender rhyme,
Perhaps we will love again when creation says it’s time.
(Verse 2) As constellations whisper tales untold,
Our story written in stardust, pure and bold.
Yet, for now, we part with hopeful signs
The love we made as a temple...
The universe gave us a love divine.
Guiding paths through the cosmic dance,
We found each other, a fateful chance.
(Chorus) Mother Nature tied us, a celestial tether,
We were one, so bound together.
But our love it was sacred dance, a tender rhyme,
Perhaps we will love again when creation says it’s time.
(Verse 2) As constellations whisper tales untold,
Our story written in stardust, pure and bold.
Yet, for now, we part with hopeful signs
The love we made as a temple...
#love
#lyrics
#LongDistanceRelationship
190 reads
2 Comments
Nizana
Lauryn
Lauryn
Poem Published
7th Dec 2023 2:53pm
7th Dec 2023 2:53pm
Morning Song
Morning Song
Verse 1) In the quiet of the morning when the sky begins to glow,
I find pleasure in your laughter, and melodies as they flow.
Your voice, a gentle whisper, like a soothing, summer breeze,
It echoes through my heart and puts my mind at ease.
(Chorus) Oh, your laughter is a symphony that dances in the air,
Your words, they are a serenade, for love beyond compare.
On the canvas of your beauty, I find my favorite view,
In the sanctuary of your love, this time forever true.
(Verse 2) As daylight paints the canvas,...
Verse 1) In the quiet of the morning when the sky begins to glow,
I find pleasure in your laughter, and melodies as they flow.
Your voice, a gentle whisper, like a soothing, summer breeze,
It echoes through my heart and puts my mind at ease.
(Chorus) Oh, your laughter is a symphony that dances in the air,
Your words, they are a serenade, for love beyond compare.
On the canvas of your beauty, I find my favorite view,
In the sanctuary of your love, this time forever true.
(Verse 2) As daylight paints the canvas,...
#love
#romantic
#breakup #lyrics
#breakup #lyrics
203 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Lyrics Seeking Honest Critique
