TellyLace88
I_Am_Her
I_Am_Her
Poem Published
Yesterday 4:31am
Yesterday 4:31am
Untitled
Everybody keeps telling me it will get better
yet I am startng to doubt that it ever actually will
Every time I get back on my own 2 feet and do good
the drugs and toxicity pull me back in
I can never seem to get my fill
12 years sober
12 motherfucken years sober
And here I am, full circle
back in this nightmare, perforating my skin
Syringes full of poison that consumes me in the worst ways
Despite that, here I am as if I've forgotten the heartbreak of addiction
As if I've forgotten where I've been
Sober me and in recovery has this...
yet I am startng to doubt that it ever actually will
Every time I get back on my own 2 feet and do good
the drugs and toxicity pull me back in
I can never seem to get my fill
12 years sober
12 motherfucken years sober
And here I am, full circle
back in this nightmare, perforating my skin
Syringes full of poison that consumes me in the worst ways
Despite that, here I am as if I've forgotten the heartbreak of addiction
As if I've forgotten where I've been
Sober me and in recovery has this...
#acceptance
#addiction
#confessional #despair
#confessional #despair
35 reads
1 Comment
WillowsWhimsies
Poem Published
4th Apr 2025 11:57am
4th Apr 2025 11:57am
simple perfection
4 of 30
I felt so beautifully alive
blanket over shoulders
sitting criss-cross applesauce
beneath a diamond-studded velvet sky
as smoke drifted upward in twisting tendrils
flames dancing wild attendance
marshmallows burning to a delicious crisp
sizzling on the end of sharpened sticks
& my father's laughter
as we all gathered around the campfire
mom's embarrassed giggles
teased out of her habitual cautious demeanor
{only daddy held that power}
it signaled freedom
a moment slipped outside...
I felt so beautifully alive
blanket over shoulders
sitting criss-cross applesauce
beneath a diamond-studded velvet sky
as smoke drifted upward in twisting tendrils
flames dancing wild attendance
marshmallows burning to a delicious crisp
sizzling on the end of sharpened sticks
& my father's laughter
as we all gathered around the campfire
mom's embarrassed giggles
teased out of her habitual cautious demeanor
{only daddy held that power}
it signaled freedom
a moment slipped outside...
#beauty
#confessional
#family #nature
#family #nature
58 reads
1 Comment
WillowsWhimsies
Poem Published
3rd Apr 2025 9:33pm
3rd Apr 2025 9:33pm
short-lived fantasies
3 of 30
everything...
every imaginable uplifting
gifted to me in that moment of time
that's what it gave me
on a wild whim I entered
never expecting any kind of return
they all said it wouldn't happen
insistent my stature wasn't up to the challenge
{what's wrong with being petite?!}
but for the first time...
I followed my dream
a few simple photos
brief biography
stuffed in an envelope
addressed & sent
& the unthinkable occurred
I got the call
date set...
everything...
every imaginable uplifting
gifted to me in that moment of time
that's what it gave me
on a wild whim I entered
never expecting any kind of return
they all said it wouldn't happen
insistent my stature wasn't up to the challenge
{what's wrong with being petite?!}
but for the first time...
I followed my dream
a few simple photos
brief biography
stuffed in an envelope
addressed & sent
& the unthinkable occurred
I got the call
date set...
#acceptance
#confessional
#dreams #risk
#dreams #risk
76 reads
4 Comments
Tallen
earth_empath
earth_empath
Poem Published
2nd Apr 2025 11:11pm
2nd Apr 2025 11:11pm
2 Birds, 1 stone - F*ck You, universe
Those who know me as full of shshshshshimmering
glistening pile of salty eye excretions,
KNOW I AM TORTURING MYSELF
doing NaPo during the year that my "rock"
My Mom died.
each spill
each proofread
each reply
each re (effin) read
each new read
sends me reeling
to my abysmal well of dark deep ............b
glistening pile of salty eye excretions,
KNOW I AM TORTURING MYSELF
doing NaPo during the year that my "rock"
My Mom died.
each spill
each proofread
each reply
each re (effin) read
each new read
sends me reeling
to my abysmal well of dark deep ............b
#confessional
#grief
#sadness
49 reads
4 Comments
WillowsWhimsies
Poem Published
2nd Apr 2025 12:49pm
2nd Apr 2025 12:49pm
teeter totter progress
2 of 30
right where I am
not this place
...but this me
where I stand...
...& sometimes slip...
constantly moving
through my unending evolution
it's a momentary station
a pause in the journey only
I both love & loathe it
wearing disappointment...
believing so few obstacles
have been conquered
{tunneled vision...}
beaming with pride...
at the realization
of how far I've actually progressed
{unearthed mirror of truth...}
I celebrate the victories ...
right where I am
not this place
...but this me
where I stand...
...& sometimes slip...
constantly moving
through my unending evolution
it's a momentary station
a pause in the journey only
I both love & loathe it
wearing disappointment...
believing so few obstacles
have been conquered
{tunneled vision...}
beaming with pride...
at the realization
of how far I've actually progressed
{unearthed mirror of truth...}
I celebrate the victories ...
#confessional
#determination
#PersonalGrowth
85 reads
8 Comments
JohnWilksLincoln
Poem Published
1st Apr 2025 7:34pm
1st Apr 2025 7:34pm
Babe? Babe??
#breakup
#confessional
#ghosts
#love
#scary
153 reads
1 Comment
WillowsWhimsies
Poem Published
20th Mar 2025 7:02pm
20th Mar 2025 7:02pm
desolation road
this house holds secrets
despite its blown out windows
no doors or locks
floorboards that refuse to creak
& a ceiling of brooding sky
but the wind howls through the halls
where memories drift
from wall to crumbling wall
untethered
but not free to depart
dust builds in corners
untouched
where thoughts once swirled
now fallen
listless & forgotten
fingers clutch a trembling match
as flame flickers in anticipation
determination wavers
turn it all to kindling...
or blow...
despite its blown out windows
no doors or locks
floorboards that refuse to creak
& a ceiling of brooding sky
but the wind howls through the halls
where memories drift
from wall to crumbling wall
untethered
but not free to depart
dust builds in corners
untouched
where thoughts once swirled
now fallen
listless & forgotten
fingers clutch a trembling match
as flame flickers in anticipation
determination wavers
turn it all to kindling...
or blow...
#choices
#confessional
#family #sadness
#family #sadness
107 reads
12 Comments
WillowsWhimsies
Poem Published
19th Mar 2025 3:10am
19th Mar 2025 3:10am
obstacle course existence
sometimes I wonder
if my life would be simpler
if I could just think more...linear
I watch others move from A to Z
so effortlessly
they look at a thing
& seem to get it first try
while I study it
turn it over & around
flummoxed
until I just put it down
step back & move along
stuck on the struggle bus
never quite able to debark at the right station
I'm convinced they screwed up my ticket
others got a particular destination
& I got the what-the-fuck chaos pass
going in circles over the same...
if my life would be simpler
if I could just think more...linear
I watch others move from A to Z
so effortlessly
they look at a thing
& seem to get it first try
while I study it
turn it over & around
flummoxed
until I just put it down
step back & move along
stuck on the struggle bus
never quite able to debark at the right station
I'm convinced they screwed up my ticket
others got a particular destination
& I got the what-the-fuck chaos pass
going in circles over the same...
#ADHD
#anxiety
#confessional #PTSD
#confessional #PTSD
118 reads
17 Comments
MalcolmG
Poem Published
18th Mar 2025 12:58pm
18th Mar 2025 12:58pm
Who am i
I wear the masks they whisper about,
Words spoken in the hush of broken corridors,
Light bringers or public enemy number one,
black for the night, white for the oath,
red when the wires scream.
I walk unseen through the veins of the world,
The shape shifter that walks amongst the wolves and sheep,
a pulse, a fracture, a glitch in the circuit.
I am the ghost that never stays dead,
Messiah that rises time and time again,
They call me a keyboard cowboy,
I know the dark because I had to.
You don’t track a predator by standing...
Words spoken in the hush of broken corridors,
Light bringers or public enemy number one,
black for the night, white for the oath,
red when the wires scream.
I walk unseen through the veins of the world,
The shape shifter that walks amongst the wolves and sheep,
a pulse, a fracture, a glitch in the circuit.
I am the ghost that never stays dead,
Messiah that rises time and time again,
They call me a keyboard cowboy,
I know the dark because I had to.
You don’t track a predator by standing...
#confessional
54 reads
2 Comments
WillowsWhimsies
Poem Published
17th Mar 2025 5:27pm
17th Mar 2025 5:27pm
I got baggage...
don't even pretend you don't
I'm not buying it
so don't try to go there
you know you do
it's not even a question
but this is...
how compatible is it with mine
is your dominant strong enough
...to counter my submissive
your structure firm enough
...to withstand my chaos
are you bold enough
...to encourage my timidity
is your patience up to the task
...of calming my uncertainty
do our interests coincide
we're not meant to be duplicates
but can we share
& enjoy each other's minds ...
I'm not buying it
so don't try to go there
you know you do
it's not even a question
but this is...
how compatible is it with mine
is your dominant strong enough
...to counter my submissive
your structure firm enough
...to withstand my chaos
are you bold enough
...to encourage my timidity
is your patience up to the task
...of calming my uncertainty
do our interests coincide
we're not meant to be duplicates
but can we share
& enjoy each other's minds ...
#confessional
#relationships
141 reads
22 Comments
WillowsWhimsies
Poem Published
16th Mar 2025 3:34pm
16th Mar 2025 3:34pm
if you look hard enough...
you spend your whole life with someone
think you know them
but what percentage of your belief is real
& how much...illusion
created perhaps...
by the damage unintentionally inflicted
& it's the only remaining thing still coloring your view
all because...they hurt you
& now it's all you're willing to remember
it was a hard lesson...for sure
seeing from her side of reality
that kinda vision is painful
coming to terms with my own bias
my own fallible humanity
my mother was buttoned down so tight ...
think you know them
but what percentage of your belief is real
& how much...illusion
created perhaps...
by the damage unintentionally inflicted
& it's the only remaining thing still coloring your view
all because...they hurt you
& now it's all you're willing to remember
it was a hard lesson...for sure
seeing from her side of reality
that kinda vision is painful
coming to terms with my own bias
my own fallible humanity
my mother was buttoned down so tight ...
#confessional
#healing
#learning #mother
#learning #mother
145 reads
16 Comments
WillowsWhimsies
Poem Published
15th Mar 2025 3:34pm
15th Mar 2025 3:34pm
mirror of hidden reflections
hardest lesson I've had to learn
is the distance between a mistake
& growth
is owning it
most especially to one's self
even with nothing obvious to be gained
there are things far more important
than pride
& being right
because sometimes right is subjective
& the cost beyond reckoning
leaving chasms in the spirit
where honesty once resided
I don't fear being wrong
it's a frequent occurrence
but causing another harm...
it terrifies me
so I'm always watching
honing my inward eye ...
is the distance between a mistake
& growth
is owning it
most especially to one's self
even with nothing obvious to be gained
there are things far more important
than pride
& being right
because sometimes right is subjective
& the cost beyond reckoning
leaving chasms in the spirit
where honesty once resided
I don't fear being wrong
it's a frequent occurrence
but causing another harm...
it terrifies me
so I'm always watching
honing my inward eye ...
#confessional
#ImSorry
#learning
112 reads
12 Comments
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