He should be the happy one..

You can see the redness in my eyes..
As he tells me he hates my lies..
I begin to cry..
I wish he understood why I do the things I do..

I love him to death..
But I've lost my last bet..
His words hurt me..
As my words hurt him..

Why is he still here if he says I hurt him?
He says he loves me,
But no one can love me..

I'm worthless..
Broken & tattered..
Breathless..
Torn & shattered..

As the cold blood runs through my veins..
Many things cross my brain..

Is it all worth this?
Marking my wrist?
I honestly wonder what I did wrong..
I deserve this..

He says I should be happy that he hasn't left..
But honestly, he should be happy I haven't left..
As in left for good and put in the grave..

I do believe that is where I belong..
I have all along..