"What's next"

Still shacked up will I ever get to leave ?
Or is it just more trouble I'll recieve ?
God knows but I sure don't ,
When can I get the time to fix what's broke ?
Seems like never ,
As another day goes by , whatever ~
Nobody knows what's next ,
This ache never goes away that's in my chest ~
Am I in a living hell I ask ?
And if so how long does it last ?
Wishing it was my time to go ,
It sucks cause we'll never ever know ~
Trying to keep my head up but it's too much ,
I'm stuck this way cause of how shit was ~
It's only death that I want ,
Cause all my past does is just haunt ~
Over and over the misery won't end ,
And this smile on my face is just pretend ~
My family is gone it's me against the world ,
My life is just wrong and I blame it on the girls ~
Everyday I wonder what does my future hold ?
Everyday I wonder will I elude the bitter cold ?
B.