deepundergroundpoetry.com
Desolate Attention to the Attenuated Sequence of Love
Why don’t I see any light?
Why is the dark no longer so bright?
Without you here it’s cold and dark
Without you here life is simple and stark
I was but an arrant fool
I was but an austere tool
Life was elegant in its simplicity yet complicated in its passions
Life was beautiful while unclad yet still gorgeous in all arid actions
Now my heart is a void
Now my heart is drained
You’re love that surfeiting my life may now sicken and so wither
You’re love that gave access of the emotion that now so makes my life macabre
Thank you for making my heart a cadaver
Thank you for your direful love
I am gaunt
I am morbid
I was loved
Published 6th Sep 2009
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6th Sep 2009 8:46am
I feel like this really captures how you would feel after ending a relationship. Questioning the surroundings that once satisfied you, disliking yourself, missing the other person, being thnkful that it happened, and finally feeling sorry for yourself. The process is all too familiar, lol
I also like the way you ended it. The parallel sentence structure adds the dramatic effect you need to convey the current feeling of loss and depression. It's very sad :(
Nice piece.
I also like the way you ended it. The parallel sentence structure adds the dramatic effect you need to convey the current feeling of loss and depression. It's very sad :(
Nice piece.
7th Sep 2009 00:00am
7th Sep 2009 3:58pm
I love the fact that it is opened with question. As if, why is everything the way it is now? and towards the end it's strict, short words, as if answering your own questions from the beginning. Very good :) Let me know when you post some more.
8th Sep 2009 7:26am
9th Sep 2009 4:09am
