~Monster~

~Monster~

Slivers of a taped confession,
My method of escape.
You dared me to compromise myself,
With a single white Rose dipped in blood,
To hide your stolen wings.

Paint silent whispers with tears,
Of my faceless reflection.
Tickle me with dirty words.
Drag my tainted innocence into sunlight,
And breathe on to the mirror of my soul.

Decode the blur eclipsed by your love,
To find the place where,
I’d still pay any price to love you again.
Where it’s always 3 a.m. in my heart,
And you scar and discover me to myself.

I’m just a reflection of a destroyed love,
Shattered by a desperate apology that I loved you too much to ask you to give
And made for you.
Your face is untouchable when your words run away with you.

Pass me the noose and I’ll tie the knot.
If you wanted to love me you’d love me.

Laughing out loud at the thought of being alive,
Hating the need for you to carve your name into my flesh with forbidden nibbles,
I live only when you bathe me with your lips.
I’m addicted to the way you use me,
To find the you,
That you buried inside me.
I’ll tell you everything you ever wanted anyone to say to you,
In hopes that for just one second you could love me again.

The most memorable moments of my life,
Are when death was the only one that wanted to hold my hand.
I always longed to be delivered from my own darkness,
And you delivered me,
With the grace of your smile into,
That sacred place that your flawless soul silently cries from.
A place that’s almost better,
Than desperately dreaming of being in your arms.



I was wondering could I just be you tonight?
Please?
You came into the Hell I called my life,
Drenched the flame with your innocent lies.
Erased my memories of everything but you,
Forgave my unforgivable sins.
Took the burden of have having fried wings
And gave me yours to fly around in your Heaven.
You killed the very essence of your being to love me,
But you couldn’t take the happiness.
You couldn’t stand the thought of someone freeing the chains you spent so many eternities binding yourself to.

So you made yourself my hero,
My Knight In Tattered Armor,
My Savior,
My God,
And my Light.
You made me someone worth being with a soul restoring glance from your eyes that are so elegantly drenched in pain and etched with my stolen shames.
You stripped my being of everything but the scars you so desperately longed to gaze upon,
The ones you healed with a stroke of your tongue,
Saved with the heat of your breath,
And loved as you put lotion on them to make me feel better about myself and the past I created before I never knew that you existed.
You knew that I would have saved every kiss,
Every smile,
Every touch,
Every want,
Gave all my desire to you,
If I had just known you were out there.

You blame yourself for my pain,
My scars,
And the reasons I still hide from the world.
You say that you could have shown me you existed
But you were afraid I would run away
That I was just the same as all of the others.

I long to decode your riddles,
Those riddles that make up our love.
I long to know those things that keep you from wanting me close at night
So I can go back and suffer those things for you.

My God,
If only I had known there could have been you.



Darling please,
Can I just be you tonight?
Can I please be the you in your nightmares,
In your past,
In your hate?
Can I please go through all those horrors you went through for you
And take away your pain

But, you won’t let me.
You won’t let anyone.
You are the monster that feeds on its own blood
Day after day,
Never coming out of the dark place you call your home,
Even to love me and take the pain that fills the well you already emptied.

Loving you is killing me.
You’re taking the love from my pulse
From this heart that still beats only for you
To find a new life for yourself,
You long to take my life so you can find happiness once more,
You want me dead so you can possess something that is your own fault you don’t have.

That’s the difference between us.
People have tried to love you.
No one ever wanted to love me.
You give this mangled illusion of love.
Pushing anyone and everyone that falls in your path head first into a battle they never asked to be in
But after dying for you,
In your arms,
At your hands,
They found the purpose of all creation

Love you,
Are you serious?
You are asking me to love you….
What kind of monster am I that you don’t know that you never had to ask me for my love?
Baby don’t you know that you don’t have to ask me for my love?
B/c no one else can love you,
You pathetic creature,
… I’ll love you.