deepundergroundpoetry.com
You know who you are sweet<3
I adore the high
Not so much for saying goodbye
But I won't lie
Many tears I shall cry
Weeping sorrowfully
Pleading desperately
Tear my heart open to the walls
to my hands and knees I fall
Crawling confused
Eyes bruised
My hand trembles
Memories to for ever remember
Honestly I'll never forget
Or think in conflict
Pristine past
Life's best never seems to last
Not so much for saying goodbye
But I won't lie
Many tears I shall cry
Weeping sorrowfully
Pleading desperately
Tear my heart open to the walls
to my hands and knees I fall
Crawling confused
Eyes bruised
My hand trembles
Memories to for ever remember
Honestly I'll never forget
Or think in conflict
Pristine past
Life's best never seems to last
Published 13th Mar 2013
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The author encourages honest critique.
13th Mar 2013 10:35pm
this is pretty good. nice imagery also. my only advice (if you want it) would be to keep the same rhyme structure throughout. that way it flows better. you see in the first stanza its all A,A,A,A then for the next 2 its AA,BB and then the last one is A,B,CC. just a small thing. other than that its great :)
14th Mar 2013 2:07am
29th May 2013 11:19am
your brain is amzing! never doubt it..
so sad, once again.. i wish to cry i felt privilaged just too read this.. why are you such a good writer? your amazing with words!
-your raven xx
so sad, once again.. i wish to cry i felt privilaged just too read this.. why are you such a good writer? your amazing with words!
-your raven xx
