deepundergroundpoetry.com
Locked Inside.
on the outside i look perfectly fine,
I have to lie to you
i have to say that "I'm fine" around other people so you don't complain about my pathetic problems
if i could open up my skin and show you the truth i would
but then...you might complain about that to
it's almost sad that i don't plan to live till i'm 20.
so...Mother..Father... Stop thinking about yourselves for once.
i already know i'm alone.
but i at least would like to know that you seen what killed me
...thats what i want to know...that you see...IT.
I have to lie to you
i have to say that "I'm fine" around other people so you don't complain about my pathetic problems
if i could open up my skin and show you the truth i would
but then...you might complain about that to
it's almost sad that i don't plan to live till i'm 20.
so...Mother..Father... Stop thinking about yourselves for once.
i already know i'm alone.
but i at least would like to know that you seen what killed me
...thats what i want to know...that you see...IT.
Published 25th Feb 2013
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
25th Feb 2013 7:54pm
Welcome to DUP!
Would've liked it to be a little cleaner,
punctuation wise, and the sentence structure.
I think you have something here,
an underlying sense of raw emotion.
The ending especially.
Would've liked it to be a little cleaner,
punctuation wise, and the sentence structure.
I think you have something here,
an underlying sense of raw emotion.
The ending especially.
25th Feb 2013 10:20pm
