Spring in The Air

Preparing a meal the other night I hadn’t got a care
I looked out at me garden Ah spring was in the air
I wonder how me daffs are doing was my casual thought?
So I wandered out to look about and that’s how I got caught

In smooth soles slippers out I trod full of zip and pep
Until that is I reached the place where we have got a step
For it had grown a layer of moss which was wet with dew
And when I stepped upon it away my old legs flew

To see one’s feet against the sky isn’t very nice
I flailed about and gave a shout then landed in a trice
“Oh dear” I said and “goodness me” (yes I’m telling fibs)
I swore like a trooper, the step smashed in me ribs

Off up to the hospital to get myself checked out
The place full of junkies and drunks that scream and shout
Three long hours I sat there to be told what I already knew
Take these paracetomol for there’s nowt else we can do

Now I sit at home a-whinging and folk just think I’m skiving
Can’t hardly move my sorry arse and for weeks I can’t go diving
It hurts me when I burpington and it kills me when I cough
And it cripples me from head to toe if a fart I should let off

So my friend take this advice if my boldness you will pardon
Make sure you're wearing proper shoes when entering your garden
And should you slip, fall or trip  on your way to the garden shed
To ensure you make a landing soft try landing on your head! ;-)