All mine.

Sometimes I hate this world.
This life.
Sometimes I feel like giving up.
Don't even bother writing no more.
It's not going to get me anywhere.
Till I get another idea in my head.
And it drives me nuts.
Like someone running a nail down the back of my skull.
This is the only way, to get this out of my head.
Lay it down and then its gone.
It doesn't bother me anymore.
Why would I put up the fight?
Just to lose once again.
My insides crawl up my body and out of my mouth.
So I know, I put in my all.
Every time I write.
Because all I have is myself.
Nothing else is truly mine.
But this body.
This mind is all mine.
But I hope that God hears me.
When I'm sitting in my room.
Screaming at the top of my lungs.
Because no one else does.
If I picture a feeling so much.
I actually end up feeling it.
Ever had that happen to you?
Hell no.
I'm just crazy.
Insane.
Right?
Got some screws loose up in my head?
That gives me these strange thoughts.
But the last thing I want is sympathy.
From any of yous.
All I need is the courage to over take my mind.
Because it seems to be running me lately.
Running me up these walls.
Like I was water.
Just flowing.
Plenty of things run threw my mind.
But I try to come off as normal as I can.
I don't want to course anyone this insane type of pain.
But don't get me wrong, I'm not scared.
I'm just begging God to stop these thoughts.
Because I don't want to be the one that kills me.
Once I get out of here.
I know exactly where I'm going.
I'm going no where but up.
Because I'm already as low as I can get.
I'm starting to doubt myself now.
It's about time.
I don't know what I'm doing.
These are just the thoughts in my head.
While I sit and listen to my Devil.
Once I'm over this stage.
I'm never looking back.
Follow in my tracks.
I'm making new one's.
I'd hate myself not to do it on my own.
Don't need no one's help.
I'm gonna make it whether you like it or not.
But there is some truth in there..
Somewhere.
But what's the big deal?
With all these people.
Don't they feel anything like this?
Maybe not.
Maybe so.
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
My mouth fills with these words.
My gut turns.
And they spill out of my mouth.
Can't regret it now.
But I would of never have worked up the guts to say what I thought.
When I came to something real.
But I don't think I know right from wrong.
But this is everything to me.
My thoughts are all I've got.
Their all mine.
It feels like I'm being pulled apart.
Like someones ripping away at my body.
Don't take my mind nor my body.
Here take my heart.
I have a feeling I wont be needing it.