deepundergroundpoetry.com
Deposit Of Surrender
My copious dick juice will hit your mark
love comes down
my muscles are bound
You take my flex
the point of my sex
a tip forced to spill
loving all your skill
A vise around my waist
changing of stimulative pace
my words not demure
blame on your allure
Breathing rapid and fast
beat into ghosts deeds of the past
collapsed with a final splurge
now exhausted of a demonic urge
love comes down
my muscles are bound
You take my flex
the point of my sex
a tip forced to spill
loving all your skill
A vise around my waist
changing of stimulative pace
my words not demure
blame on your allure
Breathing rapid and fast
beat into ghosts deeds of the past
collapsed with a final splurge
now exhausted of a demonic urge
Published 27th Jan 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 0
comments 17
reads 1223
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
27th Jan 2013 7:54pm
Intense write Jazz,
I love your work man, The first stanza made me laugh.
KG
I love your work man, The first stanza made me laugh.
KG
27th Jan 2013 8:12pm
Oh thanks man; after reading Kitty's "But I didn't Inhale", everything seems inferior! I may never write an observational poem again!
27th Jan 2013 9:33pm
Jazz
your a funny man,
please take that as a compliment , n' don't go all Joe Pesci on me.
LOL
Charlie
your a funny man,
please take that as a compliment , n' don't go all Joe Pesci on me.
LOL
Charlie
27th Jan 2013 9:57pm
Naw Pesci is way too much of a "A" type personality for me. Got to make the "Jazz" moniker fit!
27th Jan 2013 9:33pm
As Aaron Neville would say, "Tell it like it is".
This is a strong song Brother Jazz.
This is a strong song Brother Jazz.
27th Jan 2013 10:01pm
Anonymous
- Edited 9th Nov 2018 2:45pm
27th Jan 2013 10:17pm
<< post removed >>
27th Jan 2013 10:21pm
27th Jan 2013 11:48pm
To use a Hendiatris...Veni vidi vici, written in a fast way...my my! what a strong use of rhythmic rhyming couples...oops couplets...hot read teach!
Histories rhyming couples, might be something to check out. I can think of a few songwriting teams that were man/wife, bf/gf but not sure about writers that were BOTH poets.
I am glad you liked it.
I am glad you liked it.
28th Jan 2013 2:10am
28th Jan 2013 2:16am
Well thank you. I am always refreshed with a comment from you because your references to ink take me back to when I first tried to write a poem. (So many moons ago)
Anonymous
- Edited 1st May 2021 7:45am
28th Jan 2013 5:01am
<< post removed >>
28th Jan 2013 6:05pm
Anonymous
- Edited 1st May 2021 7:45am
29th Jan 2013 8:24pm
<< post removed >>
28th Jan 2013 9:52pm
Enjoyed the rhythmatic flow! "My copious dick juice will hit your mark" very strong and intense!
You grabbed my attention and held on to it!
You grabbed my attention and held on to it!
29th Jan 2013 2:35am
