deepundergroundpoetry.com
Gone
I am wandering, like driftwood at sea
Your eyes and face are all I see
Then the tide comes in
It pulls me under
Tremendous force and thunder
Stealing my tired breath
My tears and the sea become one
Taking all that couldnt be undone
Why did you let me drown?
Your eyes and face are all I see
Then the tide comes in
It pulls me under
Tremendous force and thunder
Stealing my tired breath
My tears and the sea become one
Taking all that couldnt be undone
Why did you let me drown?
Published 24th Jan 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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reading list entries 0
comments 8
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The author encourages honest critique.
24th Jan 2013 6:20am
25th Jan 2013 00:18am
Nicely done Mysteriouslady, if there's one thing I could say, just some punctuation really, give the reader a chance to pause and continue reading where you see fit. Great effort though! Your rhyming actually works well here, doesn't seem forced and in there for the sake of it.
Great read though, keep the faith.
Great read though, keep the faith.
25th Jan 2013 00:29am
Anonymous
21st Mar 2013 2:35am
How sad this is. Gracefully written. :)
Thank you flowergirl. sometimes sadness over comes any other emotion.=)
30th Jun 2014 3:11am
i like shorties! and this one has so much in it...
raw feelings depicted in a couple of lines
nice one!
raw feelings depicted in a couple of lines
nice one!
2nd Jul 2014 2:34am
Thanks honey. Sometimes you can get your point across without many words. :)
