deepundergroundpoetry.com
The War Inside
Doubt plagues my heart
Bringing bile up into my throat
Regurgitating all that sickeningly sweet
Hope
War drums beat outside my chest
Inflicting fear into the cavities of my soul
In which light still resides
The takeover is imminent
They all know they’re going to be slaughtered
Most flee to reside with the whispers in my head
Choosing to silence themselves
The others stay to fight
Bloody carnage is all that will be left
Darkness ensnares the light
Promising a false treaty
Oh, so naive the light is
Believing the lies of the enemy
The gruesome scene is captured on film
Played over and over in my mind
The way the night slaughtered the light
Pushes me closer to the edge
There is nothing binding me in place
No ball and chain slowing me down
I spiral into the recesses of my mind
And pray for an end
Whether from a savior
Or an destroyer
Bringing bile up into my throat
Regurgitating all that sickeningly sweet
Hope
War drums beat outside my chest
Inflicting fear into the cavities of my soul
In which light still resides
The takeover is imminent
They all know they’re going to be slaughtered
Most flee to reside with the whispers in my head
Choosing to silence themselves
The others stay to fight
Bloody carnage is all that will be left
Darkness ensnares the light
Promising a false treaty
Oh, so naive the light is
Believing the lies of the enemy
The gruesome scene is captured on film
Played over and over in my mind
The way the night slaughtered the light
Pushes me closer to the edge
There is nothing binding me in place
No ball and chain slowing me down
I spiral into the recesses of my mind
And pray for an end
Whether from a savior
Or an destroyer
Published 13th Jan 2013
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22nd Mar 2013 00:59am
I wrote this poem about people who struggle with depression and lose. It's about the internal struggle that goes on inside one’s mind when faced with this sea of self-hate. The war I talk about is what happens between the hope that this depression you're living with is just a phase versus the fear that it will last forever. After fighting depression for a long period of time most optimistic feelings become thoughts and thinking something and feeling something is completely different. However, when I mention the light that stayed behind I'm talking about that small feeling of hope. Hope doesn't leave easily but it does leave after a while. Life without hope is life not worth living. If you're forced to live with depression it's like having a repeat in your head telling you "you're not good enough. You'll never be enough." After you come to the stage of depression where you no longer have hope you lose all reason to care. In the end you're like “This has to change. I don't care if I beat this or not. I'd rather die than live with this pain." That's what this poem is about.
P.S. Sorry this was so long and that it took me so long to respond I had given up writing for fear that people didn't actually care about what poetry truly meant, only that it was about bunnies and rainbows. Thank you, you have restored my own hope.
P.S. Sorry this was so long and that it took me so long to respond I had given up writing for fear that people didn't actually care about what poetry truly meant, only that it was about bunnies and rainbows. Thank you, you have restored my own hope.
