Heartless

Strong angry hateful undefeatable
are all the things i have now that
ive left out all the rest and tore my heart
out,
threw it into a river to drown
and bleed out the blood remaining in it.
The memories it had,
the sadness it carried around
and the defeat it once held to tear my
body down.
It carried all the great memories
as well,
I will never remember them because my mind
was always blank when i thought i was in love,
My mind was at peace when I thought I
was loved back.
I tore my heart out so no one else could
see the old me turn into a monster
from withholding all the pain.
As it left my hand i thought,
Did i do the right thing or did I
fuck my life up forever,
my heart sunk to the bottom and floated
away with the current.
I threw the only part left of me away
into a river that will destroy so much more
dreams of those who be of the being
who wanted to love.