A Monster

On nights like tonight

Bitter and frosty
As the sky weeps tears of naught

My eyes remain distant
In the depths of the streets

For if I close them

I see the purpose of dream catchers
The magic of falling into abyss

I understand the struggle
Of never sleeping

For the nightmare looms just beyond my eyelids
And everytime I blink

I catch a glimpse
The mere silhouette

Of a nameless shadow

The one I've grown to resent
In fear of forgetting to breathe

I can hear the whisper

Softly claiming me
Gently coaxing me

With everything I've never wanted
Of everything I now desire

On nights like tonight

I watch as the heavens mourn

Chanting for the girl I have deserted
The one who never knew me

Yet bares my scars
Shares my loathing
Hatred

For the fiend in my mind

As it speaks our name
Meaningless, untill it has power
The power I've granted it

For it knows my shame
Secrets

Manipulating the pain

The silence of midnight amidst the rain
Is the screaming I'll never allow myself

Embracing me
Intoxicating me

Waiting as it watches
Feasting on my terror
The horror of my want

Shivering in the comfort of darkness
But I'll fall asleep soon

In the allurement of despair

And I'll once again become exposed
To the monster of my subconscious

Provoking all my animosity
Decaying with everything I've lost

As it tortures me
With words of truth
With lies I need

Penetrating what is lost in smoke
Cancerous fantasia

With the face of empty moons

But I've yet to discover the features
Beyond the distorted grin

The twisted lips
Are the only thing I've grown to understand
Mouthing that I'm not alone

That it loves me

For my disgust
My revulsion
It comprehends

That I wish for its death
So that I may rest in peace

This banshee
This almost lover

Always it remains
Hidden
Disguised

As the nothing of who I am
As the me of

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