deepundergroundpoetry.com
Tell Me The Title
Never ending tiresome journey
Obliviously trudging on through life
Bleary eyed and tired
Once smiling now weighted in strife
Daunting routines monopolise the days
Yearning for sweet escape
Caring faces are unseen
As around me circle black feathered birds
Raking claws search out my eyes
Each now blind and bloodied
See no more this unfeeling world.
Obliviously trudging on through life
Bleary eyed and tired
Once smiling now weighted in strife
Daunting routines monopolise the days
Yearning for sweet escape
Caring faces are unseen
As around me circle black feathered birds
Raking claws search out my eyes
Each now blind and bloodied
See no more this unfeeling world.
Published 7th Jan 2013
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comments 6
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 7th Jan 2013 11:50pm
7th Jan 2013 11:48pm
Sweet.
Particularly love the lines:
Yearning for sweet escape
Caring faces are unseen.
And your title itself is so cryptic, J.
Want a suggestion, that it?
Mmmm..
Nevertheless, I appreciate this input.
Keep it up!
Cheers
Tidespotter
Particularly love the lines:
Yearning for sweet escape
Caring faces are unseen.
And your title itself is so cryptic, J.
Want a suggestion, that it?
Mmmm..
Nevertheless, I appreciate this input.
Keep it up!
Cheers
Tidespotter
8th Jan 2013 9:38am
Thanks for your comment and glad you liked it, the title is hidden in the poem itself and once seen becomes obvious....
Anonymous
8th Jan 2013 9:45am
Of course, silly me.
"Sweet escape" jumps to mind.....tell me I' m right, cos the other options are too heavy.....tell me the title.
Tidespotter
"Sweet escape" jumps to mind.....tell me I' m right, cos the other options are too heavy.....tell me the title.
Tidespotter
8th Jan 2013 3:33pm
Anonymous
8th Jan 2013 6:59pm
Oh mah Lord!
What a double-stunner.....!
Wait, wait...lemme just grab hold of my chair or summat a sec...yeah, ok...gots to get me head right now.....but THAT is amazing!!!!
Wow, th - ank YOU! Nobody cares......whooooo!
What a beaut. I was far off then.....
And...er...we DO care. Right, guys?
Jonah rocks the wave, y' all...hold on tight now!
Keep it a-float, J :-)
Tidespotter
What a double-stunner.....!
Wait, wait...lemme just grab hold of my chair or summat a sec...yeah, ok...gots to get me head right now.....but THAT is amazing!!!!
Wow, th - ank YOU! Nobody cares......whooooo!
What a beaut. I was far off then.....
And...er...we DO care. Right, guys?
Jonah rocks the wave, y' all...hold on tight now!
Keep it a-float, J :-)
Tidespotter
9th Jan 2013 2:03am
Intriguing use of an acrostic. The style is forgotten too often. The visuals to an unseeing world is beautifully orchestrated through your words.
Nicely done.
Nicely done.
