What Relief Is There?

How am I to pretend I haven't lost all that matters?
What relief is there in finding I never deserved her?
Or that I was meant to care for her and couldn't?
Or that she was meant to care for me and couldn't?
Where is she, while I caress the memory of her?
Wherefore this curse, that I am so fit to comfort ghosts
And so slow to nurse those who comfort me most?
What would I do to breathe life into this dream?
What would I give to have this rain fall on her face?
But the rain falls through just a shadow in the shape of her.
She is not here.
How I miss her.
How can I miss her?
How long can I bear missing her?
Did I never think I would?
Did I always know I would?
The cold mist stirs memories of her warm barrier.
The sharp wind whistles her whispers.
The night is so long without her.
Why does it become so clear after clarity doesn't matter?
-DyMc