burnt to ash

The poem is a little mediocre at first, but then comes into its own and just explodes. Pure hellish perfection, filled with rich insights and wonderfully carved lines. The second piece in brackets is so brilliant, in its vaguely sinister observation, and the final sentence is classically beautiful. Contemporary and yet Gothic. Come to think of it, that opening mundanity works because it juxtaposes so well against the orgasmic excellence of the second half, making it look even more superb.

yeah i guess its tough sometimes to open a piece.. just as hard to close while still remaining entirely artful.. but i'm glad overall you enjoyed the piece.. see you on the other side

i liked how you ended it good one man i like it

all we ever want to do is go home.. from work.. from vacation.. from the grocery store.. we want that security.. but really there is no home on earth.. this are just temporary holding cells meant to keep us spending money to keep the machine running.. temporary.. our real home is after all this.. its implosion.. its all going back to the emptiness.. the big bang collapsing into itself.. thats home.. and i long for it

shakes the soul. The jeorney on wind between this world and the afterlife is described in your last line with a huge impact on this reader. The way you have used 'home' as the destination of hell in the same line adds another edge to it as well.

perhaps we do have to cleanse our souls in fire (or ice like the old idea of hell) so we can be pure before entering the gates of heaven/home/the void.. whatever it may be.. not an eternity in hell or purgatory.. just enough time to clean our ugly bodies which we've destroyed with pills and drink and any disease we've acquired.. we are sick beings.. but inside is something pure.. and we have to shed our outer layer like a snake to turn into the butterfly of our soul

I don't know if it's what you had in mind when you wrote this, but I really like that idea of ging throgh hell, being burnt and destroyed by fire, before finally being carried home...like a violent, but necessary, fire.

exactly read the other replies i made and youll get a better idea of where i was coming from with the "cleansing" of our bodies.. the destruction of our bodies before the white and pure soul can go home.. forever in peace and sleep