I Miss Him

I see him standing there
I know it isn't him
He is dead
All I have are stories and pictures
I don't have memories
I was to young for this
I still am
I cry in secretcy
Nobody knows how much it hurts me
To hear them talk and laugh to memories
Memories I don't and can't ever have
I put up a strong face
Pretend to be interested and smile
What they don't know can't hurt them
I have died inside
My friends avoid the subject
They know the story
They can see how much it hurts
However they don't say a thing
Knowing it hurts to even think about it
I dream that he is still here somehow
I dream that I will find him on the street
And he will just come home with me
And everyone can go back to being okay again
I know this won't happen... I know
I just like to dream
But I won't
I will not think
I will go on with my life like everyone else
I will not dream
I will not believe
There is a whole in my heart that will not ever be filled
No one can replace him
I love you father
And I always will
This is my finale goodbye
If you can read this wherever you are
Then I want to let it off my chest
I miss you