10 cent s

I was three the first time i remember
seeing mamas bedroom walls
springtime colors on her quilt
Though it really could of been December

I don't remember much at all
I have to thank god for that
except for his soft footsteps down the hall
not Gods cause he was still asleep
I didn't know enough to be afraid,  YET

He came in the room, that's when I still loved him
then I was on the bed, daddy loves you
daddy saying shh shh, don't talk
we're hiding from mama, I giggled

and then the pain, stop it shaunda, be quiet
be a quiet girl and I'll give you a dime
I didn't like it one bit or the sounds either
I turned my head and saw mamas messy shoes in her closet

I loved mamas shoes and I always put them in a row
in her closet nice and neat
she always gave me a nickel and said very good Shaunda
that's  when I still loved her
and she still loved me


I watched the shoes through the pain thinking
when daddies done I'm gonna straighten those shoes
all in a row so mama will give me a nickel
and why do dimes hurt so bad
I don't like dimes, no more dimes for me


All this running through my head laying on her bed
while the sounds and the pain intermingle
in my body and mind while wondering
why Karrie gets to go to school
and why oh why can't I be five too

Ahh. The joy of childhood memories uncensored