To believe...

I
scanned the faces
of the mall shoppers today...
trying to see if I could identify
that lostness....that certain
wistful blankness...
that comes with feeling empty
on the inside.

I sat...latte in hand
sipping slowly...trying
to savor at least one thing
in this chaotic world.

I watched couples holding hands
looking anxiously into the windows
of jewelry stores....smiling...
like each of them
were the only people in the world.

I watched Mother's hold excited
children in line to sit and talk to Santa.
What a cruel joke I thought
to make a kid believe
that this fat guy in a red suite
has the power to make there
dreams appear before there eyes
On Christmas.

Before I knew it...
I was standing in the line
people stared strangely at me
Considering....there was no
eager child..by my side.
When I got to the front "Santa"
Asked me where was my "little person"
I said...."You're lookin at em!"
but I'm NOT sittin on your lap.

Santa asked me
"Well, what do YOU want Santa
to bring you this year"

and i said...
"Well,a new heart would be nice
since this one is beat the fuck up"
and could you through in
A box full of No Regrets, I seem to have
to many of those these days"
Oh and a little love...not a lot...
seeing as through great love is
too much to ask.

He just looked at me....
then smiled and said
"Ma'am....Santa will do his Best!"
I kissed his cheek and walked away
with tears in my eyes...

I sure hope Santa was listening.