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Remembering By William Marsland
our clothes dripped
that drooping drip
of little Jewish boys at Auschwitz
shivering in their dripping droopy skin
that lay in hollowed folds
from off the bone
they were caught being Jewish
whatever that is
little Jewish boys
in the bath house
we'd been caught as we swam
Manchester mackerel
prancing in the dirty waters of suburbia.
huddled together we rattled
on a wintered canal bank
waited for parents who didn't care
who were seldom there except
when called to scald or beat
though we never got to feel
the heat that burned
flesh and crackled bone
mostly we were left alone
like little Jewish boys
in the bath house
that drooping drip
of little Jewish boys at Auschwitz
shivering in their dripping droopy skin
that lay in hollowed folds
from off the bone
they were caught being Jewish
whatever that is
little Jewish boys
in the bath house
we'd been caught as we swam
Manchester mackerel
prancing in the dirty waters of suburbia.
huddled together we rattled
on a wintered canal bank
waited for parents who didn't care
who were seldom there except
when called to scald or beat
though we never got to feel
the heat that burned
flesh and crackled bone
mostly we were left alone
like little Jewish boys
in the bath house
Published 11th Jul 2010
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11th Jul 2010 11:22am
" our clothes dripped
that drooping drip
of little Jewish boys at Auschwitz
shivering in their dripping droopy skin
that lay in hollowed folds
from off the bone"
it reminds me of black and white photos of the genocite.
that drooping drip
of little Jewish boys at Auschwitz
shivering in their dripping droopy skin
that lay in hollowed folds
from off the bone"
it reminds me of black and white photos of the genocite.
11th Jul 2010 12:05pm
Anonymous
13th Jul 2010 2:20am
Though I'm sure it was a deliberate technique, I wasn't fond of the repetition of drip and droop in the first stanza. Other than that, however, I thoroughly enjoyed this poem; its seeming bitterness towards childhood, the dark and painful memory, is expressed with elegance. The idea of a poet comparing himself to a Jew isn't new, but you make it seem so here, which is quite an accomplishment I think.
13th Jul 2010 10:08am
thanks for the feedback.
i never intended the bitterness but now you mention i see it.
i was attempting to show what for me was sometimes a horrific experience of being unwanted, in hindsight wasn't nearly horrific as it was for some children.
i tried to make sure i wasn't comparing myself to a jew and now see i failed. (which isn't a bad thing) maybe it was subconsciously aiming for.
the reiteration was intended
thanks for the solid comments ;)
i never intended the bitterness but now you mention i see it.
i was attempting to show what for me was sometimes a horrific experience of being unwanted, in hindsight wasn't nearly horrific as it was for some children.
i tried to make sure i wasn't comparing myself to a jew and now see i failed. (which isn't a bad thing) maybe it was subconsciously aiming for.
the reiteration was intended
thanks for the solid comments ;)
