deepundergroundpoetry.com
Shark bait
For The "Going down at sea competition by Strider"
"Folks. This is the captain speaking. We are currently flying over South Africas Seal Island and unfortunately for everyone aboard, the plane will be going down. I repeat, the plane will be going down . We have 10 minutes left of fuel so please everyone, make those minutes count."
OM my God!!! We're going down, we're going down. I need to call my husband and children.
Shit,they're not answering their phones.
Mother Fucker!Everyone I know is at the Chuck Liddell vs. Wanderlei Silva UFC 79 fight and they can't hear their phones over the roar of the crowd.
Dear God in heaven, please forgive me for the F-Bomb. 10 hail Mary, mother of God, oh crap, I don't have time for Mary.
Damn you Chuck. I only have seven minutes left before we go down.
Seal Island? We're above Seal Island! The ring of death!!
Oh god we're all gonna be shark bait.
What, what, what did I ever do to deserve this?
Was it those tampons I stole from the girl's bathroom
machine in the 9th grade?
I promise I was gonna pay them back. For god's sake THEY WERE ONLY TAMPONS!!! You know I can't use those stupid pads because they made me look like I crapped my pants..
10 hail Mary, mother of God, only 3 minutes left, sorry Mary, I'm running short on time.
Are those great White sharks down there? aaaawwwwwww my god!!!!
10 hail Mary, aaawwwww!!! They are sharks! SHAARRRRKKKKK!
... Damn you Chuck, what were you thinking?
Do I wanna drown or be eaten? Dear Lord in heaven let me drown.
No, No, I changed my mind, being eaten is much quicker. No, no, being eaten is going to be so much more painful. Please God, let me drown!!
Dammit God, why did'nt you bless me with just a little wisdom. I could really use it at a time like this. I thought you were all knowing?
I'm sorry god, I'm sorry. Forgive me, for I know not what I do..What the hell did that scripture say anyways? I coulda used a better memory, so thanx for nothing God
Oh God, if you'll let me live long enough to find out who wins the fight, I will never cuss or sin again.
30 seconds..IS THAT A FIN?
"Folks. This is the captain speaking. We are currently flying over South Africas Seal Island and unfortunately for everyone aboard, the plane will be going down. I repeat, the plane will be going down . We have 10 minutes left of fuel so please everyone, make those minutes count."
OM my God!!! We're going down, we're going down. I need to call my husband and children.
Shit,they're not answering their phones.
Mother Fucker!Everyone I know is at the Chuck Liddell vs. Wanderlei Silva UFC 79 fight and they can't hear their phones over the roar of the crowd.
Dear God in heaven, please forgive me for the F-Bomb. 10 hail Mary, mother of God, oh crap, I don't have time for Mary.
Damn you Chuck. I only have seven minutes left before we go down.
Seal Island? We're above Seal Island! The ring of death!!
Oh god we're all gonna be shark bait.
What, what, what did I ever do to deserve this?
Was it those tampons I stole from the girl's bathroom
machine in the 9th grade?
I promise I was gonna pay them back. For god's sake THEY WERE ONLY TAMPONS!!! You know I can't use those stupid pads because they made me look like I crapped my pants..
10 hail Mary, mother of God, only 3 minutes left, sorry Mary, I'm running short on time.
Are those great White sharks down there? aaaawwwwwww my god!!!!
10 hail Mary, aaawwwww!!! They are sharks! SHAARRRRKKKKK!
... Damn you Chuck, what were you thinking?
Do I wanna drown or be eaten? Dear Lord in heaven let me drown.
No, No, I changed my mind, being eaten is much quicker. No, no, being eaten is going to be so much more painful. Please God, let me drown!!
Dammit God, why did'nt you bless me with just a little wisdom. I could really use it at a time like this. I thought you were all knowing?
I'm sorry god, I'm sorry. Forgive me, for I know not what I do..What the hell did that scripture say anyways? I coulda used a better memory, so thanx for nothing God
Oh God, if you'll let me live long enough to find out who wins the fight, I will never cuss or sin again.
30 seconds..IS THAT A FIN?
Published 8th Dec 2012
| Edited 2nd Apr 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
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comments 13
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8th Dec 2012 2:19am
hahahhaha!!! truly entertaining!
food and tampons. stealing them should never be held against you............
food and tampons. stealing them should never be held against you............
8th Dec 2012 2:34am
I'm certainly hoping it won't be held against me. haha. The tampons part is true..
Anonymous
- Edited 9th Nov 2018 2:45pm
8th Dec 2012 3:25am
<< post removed >>
8th Dec 2012 4:01am
hahaha. glad you liked it. A little laughter never hurt anyone. me especially.
8th Dec 2012 9:04am
lol this was really funny ,yea the last part about the who wins the fight had me, lmao great write.
8th Dec 2012 12:50pm
8th Dec 2012 9:25am
Heeheehee, this is hilarious!
"Do I wanna drown or be eaten? Dear Lord in heaven let me drown.
No, No, I changed my mind, being eaton is quicker. No, no, being eaten is going to be so much more painful."
Love this inner monologue, great poem, Shaunda!
"Do I wanna drown or be eaten? Dear Lord in heaven let me drown.
No, No, I changed my mind, being eaton is quicker. No, no, being eaten is going to be so much more painful."
Love this inner monologue, great poem, Shaunda!
8th Dec 2012 12:52pm
Thanks again. If you had the choice, which would you choose? lol We should make a contest outa that one.
25th Dec 2012 12:59pm
25th Dec 2012 3:30pm
28th Dec 2012 4:54pm
Great write Shaunda me tits are aching from laughing. Glad to see the sharks winning for a change. ;-))
6th Jan 2013 1:36am
Thank god there no sharks in Scottish waters.
30 seconds....is that a FIN
Very clever ending.
kg
30 seconds....is that a FIN
Very clever ending.
kg
7th Jan 2013 2:57am
A Scotty eh? One of my favorite singers was from Scotland. No sharks in Scotish waters? What do you have in Scotish waters?
