deepundergroundpoetry.com
Visions
Dusty windows
Fog my vision
Dreary thoughts
Haze my mind
Once was forgotten
Now broken
Forgiveness is hopelessly lost
Love disintegrates
Fog my vision
Dreary thoughts
Haze my mind
Once was forgotten
Now broken
Forgiveness is hopelessly lost
Love disintegrates
Published 22nd Nov 2012
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likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 4
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
22nd Nov 2012 2:16am
Those who cannot forgive and waste love, you don't need. Go to some one worthy. :)
Anonymous
- Edited 22nd Nov 2012 6:28am
22nd Nov 2012 6:11am
Alright then, I'll give you some 'pointers' - Cliche after cliche after cliche after clichie aft.. It's all cliches, lazy structure, barely any effort, a couple of mediocre lines and some contrived words, no raw emotion, it's not real, I cannot connect in anyway and it appears as some diary entry. Your poetry is terrible.
That is honest critique. You need to IMPROVE.
That is honest critique. You need to IMPROVE.
22nd Nov 2012 9:09am
6th Dec 2012 7:23pm
