Why am I so bad?????

Inspiration is a beast
In my worries, this is of least

In my life I will confess
I've truly made myself a mess

It seems I live life wrong
Don't wanna live for long

I'd give it now
If I knew how


To find the will
I'd have to kill

And face my greatest fears
All the chaos puts me in tears

Trash of writing, yes I know
But its how I vent and let go

I shoulda noticed long ago
That love was only just for show

My hands are broken
Poetic words won't be spoken

No longer am I here
I am gone
So please don't change your mind about me

I can't stand the way my heart ticks in a runic rhyme
The way she pounds with love, and dings in pain

So now I tell you once before I go, because I know you're reading this......

I said some things, did some things
And wasn't very good to you
I lie
And I know it was wrong
I can never take back what was said, but I can say what I mean now
I love you, so I'm spreading my wings and I'm flying away, so I'll never hurt you again..