Wild side

I have a wild side waiting to be free
She's everything I cannot and am afraid to be
She tries to sneak out but I push her back in, I silence her cries and pretend she's not within
Though I don't let her out I think I know her, she's not heard but her voice is loud in my head, when she speaks to me this is what she say" you're missing out, that life you're living is boring, wake up and have some fun it's time to stop snoring, be young wild and free, it's what you're meant to be"
I tell  her "shut up, this life it's fine, I'm thinking about my future and not only the now, everything ain't YOLO, what happens when tomorrow comes, my excuse can't be "because I'm young"
She listening to lil wayne pussy, money,weed and thinking that's what the fun life should be,
We go out and she's like oh! Wear that skirt, those heels, show some skin, nobody want to see an old lady
Not thinking about the image she's portraying, I tell her don't say these niggas are thirsty when their hands wanna go straying

I have a wild side wanting to be free, I look at myself and I see she, my frenemy, she's sneaking out more and more but I still manage to push her back in. When she comes out she only thinks about excitement and fun but never the consequences. If I let her out I may not be able to deal with her actions in the morning

She is not approved in my eyes, she's too bad, sometimes not so lady like. she likes to party and shake her ass not caring who's staring. She's not the one you want to take home to your family that's the other side , Me. She's not role model material, not someone you wanna look up to unless you tryna be a bad bitch and you're not looking for marriage

We're two persons trying to co-exist as one, I'm working on deading her but the battle may've just begun. The older she get the more she wanna have fun and the more wild she wants to be, it's taking more and more to shut up she but I'm overshadowing her maybe that's how it should be

I want to be someone my children can look up too, someone my husband can and will be happy to speak about
When I feel like she's about to take control of me I'll ask myself thus question" what kind of woman you want to be, simply as a woman,  wife, a mother, or all three

Maybe it's not me that wants to shut her up but more so how I think she will be perceived is what scares me
So I keep her quiet and keep her away
I know one day she will burst out of me, but until that time she is not free