deepundergroundpoetry.com
Unmended
I shed knives and tired growls
at the door, and seek
the warmth of your slumber.
Silver slivers slice throughout,
their permanence unhinging me.
Will I be pared, whittled to nothing?
Fervently, I will you to
shut your eyes to the earlier fray,
to see past the unmended.
Harbor what’s left of me, hold fast.
Pull me together in a steady clasp.
Align the pieces, all that I am.
Grasp my irregular wants.
Deliquesce and pour your heat
into me. Nestle me from within.
Meld the fractions gently, fortake
the bladed edges. Closer,
closer, beyond the steel tears.
Instead, you drowse on,
leaving me to break.
Many thanks to Dystopian Melody for the reading.
Published 18th Nov 2012
| Edited 5th Feb 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 3
comments 24
reads 1288
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
18th Nov 2012 10:12am
Inspiring, one of my favorites, of yours.
Steel tears: wonderful connotations.
Well done.
Steel tears: wonderful connotations.
Well done.
18th Nov 2012 11:13am
18th Nov 2012 11:09am
Way to go Atakti. This one is so rich, crisp, and flowing ... one the best poems I've found here!
I really like "Silver slivers slice throughout,
their permanence unhinging me.
Will I be pared, whittled to nothing?"
I also have to echo Scribber12 about "Steel tears"
I really like "Silver slivers slice throughout,
their permanence unhinging me.
Will I be pared, whittled to nothing?"
I also have to echo Scribber12 about "Steel tears"
18th Nov 2012 11:18am
Anonymous
18th Nov 2012 4:23pm
Very nice Ataki...Strider
18th Nov 2012 4:31pm
Anonymous
18th Nov 2012 7:08pm
This poem reminds me of "After Love" by Maxine Kumin. It's a stunning piece, filled with complex images and expressions which help it transcend the usual heartbreak verse. Thanks for the read.
18th Nov 2012 8:33pm
Omg, comparing my poems to Pulitzer prize winners now? *blush*
Thanks, Jack, for your comment. Stop by anytime, lol.
Thanks, Jack, for your comment. Stop by anytime, lol.
18th Nov 2012 8:52pm
18th Nov 2012 8:54pm
18th Nov 2012 9:23pm
I love your expression and word choices.
How frustrating when the one that hurts you can sleep on through your pain.
Great write Atakti.
How frustrating when the one that hurts you can sleep on through your pain.
Great write Atakti.
18th Nov 2012 9:29pm
18th Nov 2012 10:54pm
The atmosphere in this is incredible - easily felt all the way through.
19th Nov 2012 5:42am
19th Nov 2012 9:40pm
Very emotionally charged; a cry for help from pain and a fragmented existance on the edge of falling apart; only to end in heartbreak. Great heartwrenching contrast with the last stanza from the rest.
20th Nov 2012 8:03pm
24th Nov 2012 8:52am
Kind of a difficult read to "like", as it doesn't sound as if you were having a particularly good day. Very well done with this write, nonetheless.
Uley
Uley
24th Nov 2012 11:46am
27th Nov 2012 7:05pm
Fervently, I will you to
shut your eyes to the earlier fray,
to see past the unmended.
Keats: Negative capability
:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negative_capability
Letting go is 99.9999999999999% of the battle.
Excellent insight.
shut your eyes to the earlier fray,
to see past the unmended.
Keats: Negative capability
:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negative_capability
Letting go is 99.9999999999999% of the battle.
Excellent insight.
27th Nov 2012 7:29pm
Thanks, rt, for that link. I didn't know about that.
Your comment is very much appreciated.
Your comment is very much appreciated.
Anonymous
5th Feb 2013 8:38pm
well done audio dm
strider
strider
5th Feb 2013 9:24pm
5th Feb 2013 9:27pm
5th Feb 2013 10:34pm
