My forever battle

I'm trying to last until September
As I am losing the ability to function and remember
At times I lose the skill to walk
Often struggling to talk

The pain shall rip into the bloody core
Why? is the question I'm searching for
Some where deep in the brain
Something is lurking, the agony I can barely contain

Symptoms are a continuing list
To surrender is what I consistently resist
The summer is very tough
As every day is becoming very rough

I'm trying to maintain weight
As I consume things as I try to eat late
No one seems to understand
I fight this often alone, no one holding my hand

In silence and alone I get worse
The strain of hiding this curse
I train and eat as well as I possibly can
Still the suffering is close to ten out of ten

I can't sleep much because my body won't let me
Yet the toll of this no one can clearly see
I suffer well even if the world can't tell
Even If I never will be well

The many things I am including a poet
Yet only in a story I can only show it
My muscles often twitch and shake
Everything hurts yet nothing has yet to break

Often wincing in pain
Few things keep me living and sane
The show must go on I often say
A task to full fill every day

I just want things to be ok
For some odd reason it never goes that way