deepundergroundpoetry.com
Just a dream
At the end of night I escape
reality into another world
where sky's even brighter and
water more fresher, grass more
greener then the color crayon
digging my hands and feet in it's
rich soft soiled makes makes me
feel royal in my own island I
created in my mind an people
protected from evil in the choose
of dying, this place feels so real
that I finally fought the love of
my life build A castle together with
kids and a beautiful wife, what more
can I ask A world I wish not to
leave alarm woke me up realized it's
just a dream.
reality into another world
where sky's even brighter and
water more fresher, grass more
greener then the color crayon
digging my hands and feet in it's
rich soft soiled makes makes me
feel royal in my own island I
created in my mind an people
protected from evil in the choose
of dying, this place feels so real
that I finally fought the love of
my life build A castle together with
kids and a beautiful wife, what more
can I ask A world I wish not to
leave alarm woke me up realized it's
just a dream.
Published 2nd Jun 2010
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2nd Jun 2010 5:50pm
...to check your poems before you post. You missed a word in the first line and it's riddled with grammar issues. If you want to be taken seriously please take more pride in your work.
Anonymous
27th Jan 2011 00:13am
well i liked it a lot [: mistakes are made for typing
13th Jan 2014 5:55am
It lacks some poetic flow and like Abra says contains a few grammatical errors, but I think once you gain a novice mastery of the power of a poem's line, this poem will be a dream!!! ;)
I love the theme, however, and in discordance to Abra, I do take you seriously. If your not an impulsive and internal, caught in daisy daze dreamer, than you are most certainly not a poet. ;). Keep on dreaming. :).
I love the theme, however, and in discordance to Abra, I do take you seriously. If your not an impulsive and internal, caught in daisy daze dreamer, than you are most certainly not a poet. ;). Keep on dreaming. :).
