Dancing on thin ice

It is two-o-clock in the morning  
My throat constricts as I wait  
Tears of anticipation hover on  
the verge of overflowing  
The world was never worthy  
enough to keep you  
It squeezed the life out of you  
in brief fits of jealousy  
You were too fragile to be  
gripped like that  
Reduced to ruin before I  
could reach you  
You stared without seeing  
 
Your eyes were dead with the weight  
of a thousand grievances  
Never to be known to any of us  
Maybe that was the
way you wanted it to be  
Part of your ashes shudder  
with the force of my guilt  
Maybe it was your lungs,  
your eyes, your heart  
Who knows? Not me,  
not you, not anymore  
 

You once described life 
as walking on thin ice  
I suppose you are now  
plunged deep under  
So lets dance to the  
memories you left us with
 
I have taken your place  
in this biting numbness  
Twirling, leaping, pirouetting  
till it cracks  
Branching out willingly  
true to its purpose  
At least I'll go out in a  
bout of unrestrained anger  
Made into something graceful  
   
I'll die with my eyes shut,  
taking pity on my finder  
It's time to place my  
soul with you  
My body will wash up on  
the shores eventually  
Like most problems have  
a habit of doing  
The thin ice breaks.