Sort-of smile

My mouth is stuck in this sort-of smile
Cramps aching the curved moon creases
I try to make my eyes light up the way they used to
But now it takes on a different meaning
As they are always lit up with the salty sheen of bitterness
That burns behind the back of my iris's like a bonfire
Sometimes the smoke throttles me
My breathing resorts to wheezing as the blistering
Dark grey tendrils choke me into obedience
No-one sees my despair, they never will
So easily cradled by the belief of my happiness
As they only see what they want to see
For their safety of mind I might burn this
Sort-of smile onto my trembling lips
So I can pretend when I look in the mirror
That everything will turn out fine
Perfectly fine.