Sore Balls

"Absolute Bollocks" By Marcus Cooke  
 
Fall to the floor    
These balls are sore    
I pain that defies description    
I’m going to need a doctor    
And a medical prescription.    
There are ridges and bumps    
Humps but no lumps    
So why are my balls sore?    
   
Stabbed by imaginary ants    
Like two planets colliding  
in a pair of pants    
I can take solace    
that there are no    
lumps on my bollocks    
So why are my balls sore?    
   
The pain in my knackers  
are driving me crackers    
It’s like my gonads  
have died and gone to heaven    
It’s like the end of days and Armageddon    
I should have gone to a doctor    
Should have let him check    
But there is something about a male doctor    
cradling your balls    
And scratching his head.    
   
These sore balls    
have affected my peace and Zen    
I will check them regularly    
IL never makes the same mistake again.