Make It Stop

WHY?
Why do you find my pain so alluring?
Why do you laugh at my tears?
Why do you torment me with your morbid fantasies?
 
Dark, dark images
My body torn to pieces
Slowly, blood seeping onto the ground
A searing pain rips through me
I can't move
My body feels like it weighs a thousand tons
I can't breathe
It hurts so much
The cuts
The bruises
The burns
The rape
It all hurts so much
 
Why do you want to do this to me?
Why do you hate me so much?
Why are you so twisted?
 
Because...
 
 
You are a part of me.
 
In the back of my mind, in a pitch black hellhole
 
In eternal torment
 
 
Watching my memories over and over again
 
Those hungry eyes, staring at my four year old self as I let myself be abused
 
The thin red lines covering my arms like paint on a canvas
 
Red and White lights flashing, sirens blaring as mom is carried out on a gurney, strapped to it, with a drugged but crazed look in her eyes
 
Sprawled out on my bed, clawing at the sheets and pillows out of sheer....nothingness
 
The urge taking over, the smell of blood so enticing
Threats of an institution loosing its edge
Dammed up tears waiting to burst in the worst places
So desprate for a warming touch
But the call is answered by a cold stab in the heart
 
Why won't you leave me alone?
WHY, TSUKI?
WHY?
 
JUST LEAVE ME FUCKING ALONE....
 
Please...
just... make it...
 
 
 
STOP.