speed bumps and road blocks

Yesterday was a good day
of things away from you

Today starts with tears
and the memory of why I hate myself
of why I’m so undeserving
even if that is untrue

And the truth is
I’m so fucking jealous
of you
that there is someone
in your life
and there is no one
in mine

And sometimes I wonder
if I was ever really loved
when I was so easily discarded
after every fall

It should have stopped hurting
that you don’t love me anymore
when I can’t love you
how you deserve to be loved
though I’m still vying
for your mental affections

In moments like this
I wish I’d never had a heart to break

© Indie Adams 2012