Secondhand

I know, that you are always trying to come first in her eyes and failing.  I know, that you are used to stretching out the sleeves of your secondhand love in an attempt to make it fit and it is always coming up just one size too small.

You think, you always think, that this time, if you just stretch a little further, bend a little more backwards, that this time, it’s going to fit just right.  If you just stretch the seams, alter the lines and the lies, everything will be alright.

And you think that maybe someday, if you try hard enough, she will see you like you see her, and you say she only asks you to change your words, to change your ways, to have a change in heart, but in return, she only changes her mind!

Well, I wish you could realize that no matter what you say, no matter what you do, she will never stay, and her love always comes to you secondhand.

But I have seen your successes, I have witnessed your failures, and I know your dreams, no matter how you deny them.  Now, I’ve heard that it is the sting of failure that makes the taste of success so much sweeter, and I wish I could say that I’ve heard you will eventually taste it, but I can only promise that I will be there to ease the pain.

I want you to know that when you are falling, I will be the parachute that saves you.  When you are drowning, and forget how to swim, I will be there to hand you a life jacket.  When you are in need of a hand, and eye, an ear, I will give you all I have.  When you are lost in the darkness, I will be the light that guides you home.  When you have forgotten the words, I will always be there to finish your sentences.  If you are playing a losing game, I will be at your side to win the fight.

When she does her best to break you and offers her secondhand love in the palm of her hand only to crush your heart when you try to take it—when you think you have lost, when you stand there defeated, instead of forgetting, I want you to remember.

I want you to remember that I will always be there to color your rainbows, to bring oxygen to your lungs, when you are asked to change, I will remind you that you don’t have to.

Friend, I will never forget to catch your sunshine in the pockets of my jeans, so you can have them another day, when the clouds rain memories on your mind.  I swear that I will always remember the names of the stars in your constellations and keep your unanswered questions in the back of my mind, because I promise

You will never come second to me.