Crimson Balkan Snow

As I lie on my back, glancing up, I see the flakes    
Falling like downy feathers, blanketing everything    
   
Feeling the warmth of my friends beside me, I smile    
Remembering winter playgrounds of our youth, till ...    
   
Looking down I see the flow, warm and scarlet pooling everywhere    
Melting the snow all around me, all around us school girls    
   
Suddenly I am back here, to this moment, to this hate    
The smell of cigarettes and gunpowder burns my nose, sulphur    
   
Silently I lament my crushed innocence, plundered womanhood, torn and trampled, why me, why this ethnic cleansing    
My life the last thing to be taken away from me, drip by drip    
   
Fleeting thoughts, sensations, where is my little sister  
To never know love's sweeping passion, marriage, a daughter of my own
   
Drinking, shouting, laughter from my violators, formerly friends and neighbors    
Reveling in my defilement, our desecration, dirty Muslim whores    
   
Closing my eyes, I keep very still, hold my breath    
Finally, I am overlooked, dare to inhale, though I know it is too late, total numbness    
   
Rolling over on my side, I start to cry, then I notice my pretty shoes    
All covered with mud, I curl up, frantically wipe them clean    
   
Graveling sound, the shovels fill, tossed one by one    
Over me, over everything that I am, an earthen blanket, peaceful slumber  
 
(Inspired by discovering a mass grave in Kosovo back in November 2000)