deepundergroundpoetry.com
petri-dishes and pickle-jars
They found him in a pool of someone else's blood
there was no need for concern
this was just part of a strctly adhered-to health regimen.
Dick felt, and still feels, that this bathing technique
adapted from Hungarian Countess Elizabeth Bathory
is essential in preserving his "human" biology far past
it`s genetic expiration date.
The only real diversion from the 17th Century
recipe is that Dick doesnt immerse himself in Virgin`s Blood,
because, lets face it, where can ya find a Virgin
in the States these days?
Say what you want about him,
but the man does Buy American.
Dick isnt sexist like his ancient Transylvanian
counterpart. The young girls AND boys are thoroughly
screened for disease of all kinds before their blood is
drained and properly processed by Haliburton. An ass
crack staff of skilled plumbers have been hand picked
by Dick himself for his custom system of source pool, pipes,
shower and tub.
This unique apparatus is housed in level seven of the
former veep`s subteranean bunker, just down the hall
from the stem-cell farm in Room H-3, directly across
from Dick`s personally owned Tony Roma`s Ribs Franchise.
The Organ-Growing Room is located in another wing. It`s
quite large, with dimensions similar to any big-time
Mid-West High School Gymnasium.
A tour through this Human Tissued Fountain of Youth is
quite fascinating. There are sections for every bodily
sytstem. Numerous Clone`s of Dick`s Heart, Spleen, Rectum,
prostate, You Name It, all in various stages of development
are proudly displayed throughout a labyrinth of petri-dishes
and pickle-jars.
It`s rumoured that slipping a Twenty to the Security Guard
on duty will get you an exclusive peek at the actual
Dick Head.
Tonight we can all sleep easy knowing that we`ll still
have Dick Cheney to kick around for the rest of our
natural lifetimes.
Published 6th Sep 2012
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6th Sep 2012 2:28pm
lmao!!! great job....
I figured he had some monster project going, and by monster I dont mean big!! lol :)
I figured he had some monster project going, and by monster I dont mean big!! lol :)
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Jun 2024 1:45am
12th Sep 2012 3:54pm
<< post removed >>
12th Sep 2012 4:23pm
Got it --
unfortunately theres enough of this type
fodder around to kee The Lab goin 24/7 for
millenium.
However -- there isnt anyone quite like Dick,
is there? Praise the Lord
