Etherial Suicide Note

(Submission for the Competition "Suicide Note")

Now that the deed is done, going where Hamlet doth fear to tread
I look down on my lifeless husk, lying still and pathetic

I am struck with remorse, dare I say chilling panic even
That I penned no words to capture, explain, authenticate what has just transpired

Not that I didn't try or simply forgot
Oh no, I agonized over a note, something profound and poetic to beautify this most righteous act of self, total unabashed narcissicism

Still the words would not come, how ironic
That I, the one who can wax poetic about anything would become quill tied and writer blocked just when it was most urgent

Looking about my empty room, in my neglected house, on my forgotten street
I see my laptop, still plugged in, anxiously waiting for me to tickle the keys, flowing composure

So, all out of body, I will try to set things right
Struggle to pen the words that eluded me in my final darkest moments

First, I would begin recounting the cruelty and betrayal that has been the resounding theme of my life
How love would whisper, promise, but never land on my shoulder like some butterfly of Eros

Next, I would recount my endless struggles with addiction to so many things
Nicotine, alcohol, and a morbid, marinating sadness that defied therapy and treatment

Add to the reasons the futility of life and all of its superficiality
With people rushing thru their finite, precious days, tweeting and texting, busy lives full of emptiness

But the crowning reason, the one that pushed me over the edge, pulled the trigger
Living in a world that forced me to deny myself, living authentically

You see the crushing weight of judging, shaming, urging, and pressure to be someone else's version of me was too much
Till my very soul collapsed, needing refuge and escape to somewhere safe and beautiful

Now, looking this over, reviewing my etherial suicide note I suddenly feel satisfied, fully vindicated
For no simple parchment nor disapproving eyes are deserving of this most beautiful and genuine declaration