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Key
I hid a thought once
I buried it deep inside a word
inside a poem for you
and I charged that word with mojo
spiked it with my hard love voodoo.
I taught my charge to keep quiet
to sleep inside your mind
growing strong enough
to navigate the flows
through the heart
to the loins
then back through the mind
searching out those secret places
into which it could wiggle
its nasty little self
infecting you with me.
That word you can't quite remember reading
that held that thought
still draws you inexplicably back
down the trail of each new line
lost and looking for the clearing
and at every turn home feels so close
as I lead you deeper down the rough and wild.
It wasn't hard
a few good guesses about a bad daddy
some details that might be true of anyone
pinpricks to breach the dam
and I burst through from all sides
until you swore I'd invaded your darkest recess
like a jaguar stalking your thicket
where you are clawless, so vulnerable
that you surrender yourself as my sole prey.
But these are not your woods.
I laid the lines and grew the poetry upon them.
I darkened the sky
hung the moon and soaked the moss
planted every tree and twisted each root
and made this purposeful path where I pass
ahead holding the only light
that leads you farther in.
That glow is not my heart of gold,
but the sheen of a well worn key
one that I had hidden once
working all the while inside of you.
I buried it deep inside a word
inside a poem for you
and I charged that word with mojo
spiked it with my hard love voodoo.
I taught my charge to keep quiet
to sleep inside your mind
growing strong enough
to navigate the flows
through the heart
to the loins
then back through the mind
searching out those secret places
into which it could wiggle
its nasty little self
infecting you with me.
That word you can't quite remember reading
that held that thought
still draws you inexplicably back
down the trail of each new line
lost and looking for the clearing
and at every turn home feels so close
as I lead you deeper down the rough and wild.
It wasn't hard
a few good guesses about a bad daddy
some details that might be true of anyone
pinpricks to breach the dam
and I burst through from all sides
until you swore I'd invaded your darkest recess
like a jaguar stalking your thicket
where you are clawless, so vulnerable
that you surrender yourself as my sole prey.
But these are not your woods.
I laid the lines and grew the poetry upon them.
I darkened the sky
hung the moon and soaked the moss
planted every tree and twisted each root
and made this purposeful path where I pass
ahead holding the only light
that leads you farther in.
That glow is not my heart of gold,
but the sheen of a well worn key
one that I had hidden once
working all the while inside of you.
Written by
braggman
(Steve Bragg)
Published 1st Sep 2012
| Edited 27th May 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 13
reading list entries 4
comments 24
reads 1118
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Key
1st Sep 2012 8:56pm
stunning write! will reserve my comments later, after many reads...at top of my lists now!
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re: Re: Key
2nd Sep 2012 3:43am
Thank you much Uma. I kind-of enjoyed writing this one, though the little bugger kept me up all night.
Re: Key
1st Sep 2012 9:14pm
wooooo....
humdinger to 'come-back' wit, there, daddyo...
good shoe good show
humdinger to 'come-back' wit, there, daddyo...
good shoe good show
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re: Re: Key
2nd Sep 2012 3:47am
Thanks DK. I really have come to enjoy embracing my inner creep lately. Creepiness is probably the last swagger that we get to hold onto as the boyhood washes out of us.
re: re: Re: Key
2nd Sep 2012 3:46pm
haha...
yeah, daddyo....y'got that creepy'ass shit right..
you funnyboy, ye freekin oldCreep, you.
yeah, daddyo....y'got that creepy'ass shit right..
you funnyboy, ye freekin oldCreep, you.
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Re: Key
1st Sep 2012 9:23pm
Much can be charged with drops of potent will and energy also an acute awareness and mind.
I very much get this poem. An excellent write Steve, from start to finish.
I very much get this poem. An excellent write Steve, from start to finish.
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re: Re: Key
2nd Sep 2012 3:54am
Thank you dear. The subject of mixing overt and subliminal manipulation has been working its way into much of my stuff lately.
re: re: Re: Key
yes...
Anonymous
- Edited 1st Sep 2012 10:33pm
1st Sep 2012 9:47pm
...this is an interesting idea, executed with good control over pace and tone. I can feel the work you put into this...well done. your efforts in clarifying how you want your work to sound and feel are not being wasted. a solid piece.
dp
dp
2
re: yes...
2nd Sep 2012 4:01am
Thanks DP. I appreciate the vote of confidence. I thought it might be a little "decorated" for your tastes, but I'm glad you approve.
re: Re: Key
2nd Sep 2012 4:07am
Glad you liked it. I hope showing the puppeteer pulling the strings doesn't erase the nagging worry in a few women that some of those strings might be attached to them.
...
2nd Sep 2012 10:22am
I like how 'these are not your woods' is buried into the middle of the second verse so it feels like as you read it you're travelling into these lines to then be trapped inside them. And how then those careful details about the building of it all are finished off with those 'p' sounds which creates this really vivd idea of a sputtering light. I love the feeling of manipulation you get from the phrase 'twisted each root' - the way that 'twisted' grinds itself out ruthlessly.
1
re: ...
2nd Sep 2012 2:58pm
Lovely to see you here Merda. Keen reading there. That line is the crux and I tought about starting a new stanza there, but the chase was already on and I didn't want to break the flow.
Re: Key
2nd Sep 2012 11:00am
Many crafty, juicy lines in here, but mainly, wanted to say that the invitation to go on this ride was so thorough and unashamed, it gave me permission to be vicariously, deliciously evil for a moment. A guilty pleasure, thank you.
1
re: Re: Key
2nd Sep 2012 3:05pm
Giving rides of unashamed guilty pleasure is one of my guilty pleasures. Quite a compliment. So glad it pleases you.
Re: Key
2nd Sep 2012 5:20pm
hate to be jumping on a bandwagon, but i'm in good company, it seems. [:
this naughty number stuck with me all day, as i read it this morning and have had it sleeping there...almost as if someone had trained it...
"spiked it with my hard love voodoo."
"searching out those secret places
into which it could wiggle
its nasty little self
infecting you with me." - awesome excerpts; i just love the attitude here. the villain explaining his methods while the good guy's tied up, helpless, in his lair.
"until you swore I'd invaded your darkest recess" - this felt intimate to me. "you swore" feels so personal and like not only did the narrator have the victim where he wanted... s/he had gained a trust, an almost sexual, but certainly sensual vibe off of that. liking the ideas here, bragg. the air of confidence suits you. [:
this naughty number stuck with me all day, as i read it this morning and have had it sleeping there...almost as if someone had trained it...
"spiked it with my hard love voodoo."
"searching out those secret places
into which it could wiggle
its nasty little self
infecting you with me." - awesome excerpts; i just love the attitude here. the villain explaining his methods while the good guy's tied up, helpless, in his lair.
"until you swore I'd invaded your darkest recess" - this felt intimate to me. "you swore" feels so personal and like not only did the narrator have the victim where he wanted... s/he had gained a trust, an almost sexual, but certainly sensual vibe off of that. liking the ideas here, bragg. the air of confidence suits you. [:
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re: Re: Key
2nd Sep 2012 5:44pm
Almost as if it wre trained. Yes, this one just might be working. Perhaps it was hidden in you. You did say once "the creepiness thing may have been overtaken by the charming evil nemesis banter to my eyes. i bloody love charming evil nemesis banter." did you not? Wink, wink. Actually I would love every woman to be a little frightened that it is secretly about them. So glad that you like it. I've played with the idea for a few poems now. Red Riding Hood meets Inception.
Re: Key
2nd Sep 2012 6:49pm
hey now...yup late to comment but gonna go ahead and agree. the creepy thing working well.
but, the "swagger" thing i find very interesting.
this writer surely has confidence in the strings he has pulled, but is this writer now alone longing for that trap that is now abandoned?..is there other traps set, and is this prey is just fun time stuff? or is the writer questioning is own confidence and clinging to a memory of when this trap was set?
great write steve- and i cant separate my own issues w the questions that were raised.
but, the "swagger" thing i find very interesting.
this writer surely has confidence in the strings he has pulled, but is this writer now alone longing for that trap that is now abandoned?..is there other traps set, and is this prey is just fun time stuff? or is the writer questioning is own confidence and clinging to a memory of when this trap was set?
great write steve- and i cant separate my own issues w the questions that were raised.
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re: Re: Key
2nd Sep 2012 7:42pm
Never too late to comment. I was just in changing a line a couple of hours ago. In the poem I'd say there is one trap one prey and she's already in too deep. As to the swagger... that is where I find my writing centered lately. In real life it is an honor for people to feel safe with you, but as a writer it's just sad. I have to take on some mojo to keep my power. For a kid to write about his powers of love he is surely speaking of appearance. As time goes on this has to include skil and attitudel, a man's swagger. In literature and music it sometimes is depicted as outright sorcery. So I'm grabbing as many fistfuls of mojo as I can hold onto and just stuffing them into poems.
Re: Key
8th Sep 2012 1:36am
You can freaking write balls when you let yourself, Bragg.
This was so damn good!
It was dark, and not, and pretty and not, and it was everything broken and slick and fucked up all wrapped up in a box of chocolates. Yay!
This was so damn good!
It was dark, and not, and pretty and not, and it was everything broken and slick and fucked up all wrapped up in a box of chocolates. Yay!
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re: Re: Key
8th Sep 2012 3:15am
Aw shucks Betty. Just creepy ol' me trying to scare up some self-fulfilling prophecy. You're too kind.
Re: Key
27th May 2013 1:46am
re: Re: Key
27th May 2013 2:41am
Thank you ma'am. I really enjoyed writing back then. Maybe your little reminder here will get me back into that mindset now that I've re-read it.