deepundergroundpoetry.com
Because I Can
It's hard to wake each day
fighting to stay king
of my proverbial jungle,
hard to have reputation
of any kind
and as I fade
from the faces present
from the page
and even from memory,
do not assume from my silence
that I'll relinquish rule
and fall without a fight.
Do not trust my words.
Fading is a bitter business.
I will write you into a corner
and having put you there
grope and molest your sentiment.
I am the snake
lying in ambush
with no need to hunt,
who carefully marks your paths
knows your failings,
who can wait as long as it takes.
Welcome to the world where I am king
where I punish you for trusting
with each line
with you
still reading like it's leading somewhere
like the ending will pull you through
and then you'll pat my poetic back
and say this one is better than the last
or at least it didn't make you sick,
still throwing those hurt glances
that search for reasons
as if written upon my surface.
I rape the reader because I can
in ten minute increments of anger.
The act itself is a warning
that comes too late
comes after the fact.
Reading this line causes cancer.
Reading this line soils your innocence.
Your well-worn paths, your pauses for breath
your earnest anticipation
all lead to an untimely ending.
fighting to stay king
of my proverbial jungle,
hard to have reputation
of any kind
and as I fade
from the faces present
from the page
and even from memory,
do not assume from my silence
that I'll relinquish rule
and fall without a fight.
Do not trust my words.
Fading is a bitter business.
I will write you into a corner
and having put you there
grope and molest your sentiment.
I am the snake
lying in ambush
with no need to hunt,
who carefully marks your paths
knows your failings,
who can wait as long as it takes.
Welcome to the world where I am king
where I punish you for trusting
with each line
with you
still reading like it's leading somewhere
like the ending will pull you through
and then you'll pat my poetic back
and say this one is better than the last
or at least it didn't make you sick,
still throwing those hurt glances
that search for reasons
as if written upon my surface.
I rape the reader because I can
in ten minute increments of anger.
The act itself is a warning
that comes too late
comes after the fact.
Reading this line causes cancer.
Reading this line soils your innocence.
Your well-worn paths, your pauses for breath
your earnest anticipation
all lead to an untimely ending.
Written by
braggman
(Steve Bragg)
Published 10th Aug 2012
| Edited 17th Aug 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 22
reading list entries 4
comments 37
reads 776
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
re: Re: From My Morning Bed
10th Aug 2012 1:29pm
No, not particularly. I wrote it before I even got out of bed, hence the title. Just another slice of me.
Re: Because I Can
10th Aug 2012 1:47pm
Good offering man. You know I have this thing for stanzas. The whole 'be kind to the reader." thing
I LIKE it. It's like you just said 'fuck off' and got it all out in one sitting, didn't pick at it, hide it, obsess over it. That means it's made of kickass. (Kickass is now a noun.)
Do this more often.
Happy Writing.
Betty
I LIKE it. It's like you just said 'fuck off' and got it all out in one sitting, didn't pick at it, hide it, obsess over it. That means it's made of kickass. (Kickass is now a noun.)
Do this more often.
Happy Writing.
Betty
0
re: Re: Because I Can
10th Aug 2012 1:54pm
Thanks Betty. I had a feeling that the time off was nothing to worry about. When the idea was going to slap me in the face I was ready to give it a few minutes to take shape and put it down. The month long poems are too hard. True, I had to wait a month practicing crap to get a ten minute poem, but it was better than eating breakfast and shuffling off to work.
Re: From My Morning Bed
Ha,would love to see the expression on your face as you awake,if this weighty pseudo bitter but accepting and wiley sentiment is equivalant to you saying "good morning"... Well steve I have to say at least in this one and your last one I have to read it several times,because I feel like I missing something thats there. I am left feeling that I am not putting in the leg work and should "get"it,cause the writer left it there. Fading is indeed a bitter business,and the fighter turned snake is waiting on who? The narrator,the reader,or maybe the poem itself.
reading this line causes cancer. Potent line,suggests to me a self sabotage of the poem itself,increasing until the untimely ending. All in all not quite sure if I am hearing a bitter cynic of sort,or a wiley trickster,maybe just an introspective person taking inventory of there own facets. Thats why I read several times, I want to know where this voice is coming from
Edit...i take nearly everything back. Gonna go out on a limb and say you rape the reader because you can
reading this line causes cancer. Potent line,suggests to me a self sabotage of the poem itself,increasing until the untimely ending. All in all not quite sure if I am hearing a bitter cynic of sort,or a wiley trickster,maybe just an introspective person taking inventory of there own facets. Thats why I read several times, I want to know where this voice is coming from
Edit...i take nearly everything back. Gonna go out on a limb and say you rape the reader because you can
0
re: Re: From My Morning Bed
Thanks lb. I woke up with some call-in talk show on TV an this guy was saying it was hard waking up knowing you had to stay king of the jungle. I have taken a fancy to stalker poems of late and felt I was coddling the reader in the past. I have turned to occasionally give the reader a good beating just to test how a little slice of life works with no answer spoon-fed at the end. I deliberately gave it an untimely ending, then changed the title as a partial answer to the why of the poem. I guess it's just meant to slap the face and walk away without a reason.
Re: Because I Can
10th Aug 2012 2:07pm
Ps...your title changed in the time I blah'd ya up....like the new one better. Might help clarify that voice thing for me too
0
Re: Because I Can
re: Re: Because I Can
10th Aug 2012 2:59pm
No, I honestly don't know... but that's OK. I guess anyone might get offended by disrespect for the reader.
Re: Because I Can
10th Aug 2012 3:24pm
o
you braggalatin'badboy, you.
eye
was so offended, i th'ought to go find my brass knuckles, butthen rememememembered i gave'em away
wit
my brass balls...too much t'lug around, yknow...
a goodol' read - nice t'listen t'sumbody rant wit style & artistry, especially since I never ever 'do' that...ar har'har...
very Xlent t'see ye postin again, dear br'other.
you braggalatin'badboy, you.
eye
was so offended, i th'ought to go find my brass knuckles, butthen rememememembered i gave'em away
wit
my brass balls...too much t'lug around, yknow...
a goodol' read - nice t'listen t'sumbody rant wit style & artistry, especially since I never ever 'do' that...ar har'har...
very Xlent t'see ye postin again, dear br'other.
0
re: Re: Because I Can
10th Aug 2012 5:51pm
Thanks Cap'n. I think the milk of human kindness must have curdled when I left it too long untended. Looks like you'll just have to settle for giving me a barehanded knuckle sandwich. Peace - Bragg.
Re: Because I Can
10th Aug 2012 6:35pm
Steve.
I liked the idea for this poem. I feel though that the sentiments behind it restrict me somewhat from offering a critique.
I should explain. normally I'd point out that it was hard to read in places because of the lack of line breaks.
these lines in particular were hard to wrap my mind around.
"from the faces present
from the page
and even memory
do not believe from the silence
it is not
without a fight."
it was really the "do not believe from the silence" line. maybe a period after 'memory' would sort that if you had a mind to.
that said, given the tone of the poem along with the title, it's as if you have already seen this outcry coming and said "so fucking what!"
anyhow good man. great concept. fair play
I liked the idea for this poem. I feel though that the sentiments behind it restrict me somewhat from offering a critique.
I should explain. normally I'd point out that it was hard to read in places because of the lack of line breaks.
these lines in particular were hard to wrap my mind around.
"from the faces present
from the page
and even memory
do not believe from the silence
it is not
without a fight."
it was really the "do not believe from the silence" line. maybe a period after 'memory' would sort that if you had a mind to.
that said, given the tone of the poem along with the title, it's as if you have already seen this outcry coming and said "so fucking what!"
anyhow good man. great concept. fair play
0
re: Re: Because I Can
10th Aug 2012 11:20pm
You are right my man. Missed the punctuation. I tried to keep it to a minimum, which is unlike me. I will fix her up tonight when I get home. Thanks for the visit. You are always a welcome guest on my turf.
Re: Because I Can
11th Aug 2012 00:20am
re: Re: Because I Can
11th Aug 2012 3:17am
Thanks man. Shaking the cage shouting in my best Charleton Heston: "It's a madhouse! It's a madhouse!"
re: re: Re: Because I Can
11th Aug 2012 3:32am
that line by ol'Char was from
The Ten Commandments,
right?
of course
The Ten Commandments,
right?
of course
0
re: re: re: Re: Because I Can
11th Aug 2012 3:38am
Ha that is hillarious. Actually Planet of The Apes when they wre hosing him down. But you knew that and that's what gave me such a belly laugh
re: re: re: re: Re: Because I Can
11th Aug 2012 6:01am
Re: Because I Can
Anonymous
11th Aug 2012 5:35am
I like this, Steve;) It's an excellent mind-scramble to the beginning of a beautiful morning. Devlin
0
re: Re: Because I Can
11th Aug 2012 1:29pm
Thanks for the visit and kind words Devlin. Seems I get more indignation in befo 8:AM than most folks do all day.
Reading this line causes cancer.
Anonymous
11th Aug 2012 11:49pm
fucking great line. reading this thing was like a slap in the face that you can't decide whether you enjoyed or not. awesome stuff, steve. :]
0
re: Reading this line causes cancer.
12th Aug 2012 1:18am
Oh thank you aglitch. That is pretty much everything I wanted for it to do. Slap the face, rough up the reader, and then leave. Not very ambitious, but good to see it's doing it's job.
Because I Can
12th Aug 2012 5:16pm
"Because I can" is one of my favourite lines that I have and still do use often when someone asks me "Why" lol.
Trust has always been punishable in my experience, hence I became its stranger.
I didn't take offence to this write at all, words can be powerful to the mind accepting of them.
A very interesting thought provoking write. Great job.
Trust has always been punishable in my experience, hence I became its stranger.
I didn't take offence to this write at all, words can be powerful to the mind accepting of them.
A very interesting thought provoking write. Great job.
0
Re: Because I Can
12th Aug 2012 9:33pm
Thanks Magdelena. I wrote it first without the two lines that start the last stanza. I called it "From My Morning Bed" because that's where I dreamed it up, but within an hour I knew that it needed a reason why, and like you said, that's always the best reason of all. Thanks for stopping by.
Re: Because I Can
Anonymous
12th Aug 2012 9:59pm
This poem is like foreplay. The second verse is my favourite, because I like how it develops from aggression into playfulness. Come to think of it, the poem steadily increases in intensity from its opening verse, which seems sad and defeated, before the narrative voice explodes into anger in verse two.
The personal jungle metaphor in verse one is a bit alpha-male, but as this is a self poem I'm not sure I can offer that as a criticism. It's not a particularly bad line, and if it conveys a part of yourself then it does its job.
All in all this was a very enjoyable read, thanks.
The personal jungle metaphor in verse one is a bit alpha-male, but as this is a self poem I'm not sure I can offer that as a criticism. It's not a particularly bad line, and if it conveys a part of yourself then it does its job.
All in all this was a very enjoyable read, thanks.
0
Re: Because I Can
12th Aug 2012 10:45pm
Thanks Jack. That is exactly where I was having issues. You are the first to ask about the 1st stanza. I'll explain if I can ask a question. I woke up and there was a call-in talk show. Some alpha basketball player(I think said it was hard to wake up every day trying to stay king of THE jungle. I'm lying there thinking about getting older, how I used to be an alpha, how I haven't even written for a month, how people were sending PMs urging me. I wondered if there weren't more than one jungle, and perhaps more than one way to rule it as we get older. I changed it to MY jungle and became the snake as king. So the question... does it need a line or two to transition from 1 to 2? Is "There is more than one way to be king." too obvious a line to start stanza 2?
re: Re: Because I Can
Anonymous
13th Aug 2012 11:59am
I like your idea of transitioning from verse one to two with that line. When I read this poem I was slightly taken aback by the sudden shift in tone, from sad and defeated to aggressive, so that could really help. Is there also a way you could talk about that talk show and the thought process it caused, or would that kill the momentum?
0
re: re: Re: Because I Can
13th Aug 2012 12:14pm
Thanks Jack. I think too much thought might bog it down, but I may try to contrast the jungle with my jungle. I do think it needs the transition line. Thanks fo the second looksee.
Re: Because I Can
Anonymous
12th Aug 2012 11:22pm
You, like Clint Eastwood have immortalized two lines:
"Because I can"
and
"Raping the reader"
This is a very powerful poem and in my own opinion it is very good.
Kitty
"Because I can"
and
"Raping the reader"
This is a very powerful poem and in my own opinion it is very good.
Kitty
0
re: Re: Because I Can
13th Aug 2012 2:30am
:]
steve
honest thing. in the past i had done
in depth critiques of your poems. the
early ones. on all three occasions, they
made never made to your page. never saw
the light. something always happened.
i stepped back. last month again i gathered
some courage and tried to do it again on one
of your love poems. murphy did his cha cha cha.
finally i am here. cookies, viri, malware,
os, internet everything is taken care of.
i will lose it tonight.
now, i have read this poem a few times now.
every time i read it, it grows on me.
it always reminds me tarsem singh's 'The Cell'.
in a surreal beautiful way. that world, that mindscape.
so in my insignificant world, this poem is a visual, poetic metaphor. I am sure you have seen it, so that would sum
my 'feedback' in a lucid way. and after the edits, its
better.
i have always liked your approach. very clinical
and judicious. after years spent in the real world.
this is no exception.
love the vicious grip and the display of brutish power.
akin a hardcore mentalist doing a thoughtform art display.
cant pick out my favorite line. its a good thing i believe.
thanks for the read.
sumeet
p.s-and i well be around. no place for superstition. unless, of course this is lost.:]
honest thing. in the past i had done
in depth critiques of your poems. the
early ones. on all three occasions, they
made never made to your page. never saw
the light. something always happened.
i stepped back. last month again i gathered
some courage and tried to do it again on one
of your love poems. murphy did his cha cha cha.
finally i am here. cookies, viri, malware,
os, internet everything is taken care of.
i will lose it tonight.
now, i have read this poem a few times now.
every time i read it, it grows on me.
it always reminds me tarsem singh's 'The Cell'.
in a surreal beautiful way. that world, that mindscape.
so in my insignificant world, this poem is a visual, poetic metaphor. I am sure you have seen it, so that would sum
my 'feedback' in a lucid way. and after the edits, its
better.
i have always liked your approach. very clinical
and judicious. after years spent in the real world.
this is no exception.
love the vicious grip and the display of brutish power.
akin a hardcore mentalist doing a thoughtform art display.
cant pick out my favorite line. its a good thing i believe.
thanks for the read.
sumeet
p.s-and i well be around. no place for superstition. unless, of course this is lost.:]
0
re: :]
15th Aug 2012 12:57pm
Sumeet. I see it. It's right here at the bottom of the poem. Glad you made it and that you like it.
re: re: :]
15th Aug 2012 6:59pm
Re: Because I Can
20th Aug 2012 8:24am
Steve,
this is mesmerizing! from a slight sad note ,jumping in leaps to express unshaken self of an avatar capable of any destruction in unthought magnitudes!
love the use of words..simple yet powerful..
inspiring.
~uma
this is mesmerizing! from a slight sad note ,jumping in leaps to express unshaken self of an avatar capable of any destruction in unthought magnitudes!
love the use of words..simple yet powerful..
inspiring.
~uma
0
re: Re: Because I Can
23rd Aug 2012 4:40pm
Thank ye Uma. It is becoming a new style of mine as I am getting tiresome of providing beautiful and easy philosophy for the reader to ease our mutual discontent. Real life is a bit crueler, it seems.
Re: Because I Can
9th Jul 2014 1:48am
This. It's the first time I've read a poem by you. I like how in your face it is. I feel like I can relate to this. It's amazing.
0
re: Re: Because I Can
15th Sep 2014 00:42am
Thank you ma'am. I just stopped writing altogether so not surprising you not seeing more from me. I still stop in every few months to give an occasional thanks to those who have bothered to throw a few words my way.