Takeoff Spectrum

out-of-focus details
in the creases
of your sweat-covered
scrunched-up eyelids
and pretend
i'd forgotten  
what i was gonna say
 
circle around.
 
it's getting harder to find a reason
to find a reason
the more i keep at it
the more i realize
that bright smile
was actually oxidized
and rendered in cheap paints
with a toothbrush
 
no reply.
 
the longer i search your
lacquer-glazed eyes
to try to catch that  
fleeting glimpse of purpose
the more i realize
they aborted the mission
a long time ago
and left me
for dead.