Kids play everyday, I get beat everyday

Wake up in the day, exactly at eight
With a migrane from staying up late
Thinking about you again, I think Im feeling sick
I think its something I must've ate
No, its just you
I dont hate you, I know it was fate
A sick twisted game maybe
Missing you is like getting drunk
The good memories make me day dream
But the betrayal and reality sobers me up
And the pain is the hang-over
I feel like an alien, like the Mars Rover
Surrounded by aliens and foriegn people
I dont know... I dont know whats really real
Whats real and whats fake?
What will help the heart ache?
This makes as much sense as
"I have a toothache in my foot"

I think Im going as insane as
Michael fucking Myers
You said I was just like the liars?
You took my self worth in a few words
Then 6 months of those words led to pain
Somebody someone, take away the hurt
Make the sun come and shoo away the rain
Im ready to break out of this jail cell
If I cant get out, I swear....
Its going to fucking... fucking hale hell
Big chunks of hell will dent your car
And smash your windows
But dont get mad, ya know what they say?
After the storm comes rainbows
And insurance bills



You know whats really really sad?
I have to argue to kill the boredom
Alot of it actually makes me laugh
I laugh at their frusteration and whoredom
You know what makes me really mad?
I dont know who I am, whether Im me or them
Whether Im just as good or as just as bad
This humiliation suffocates me like concrete phlegm
No not really, now Im going into the dramatics
If you havent noticed, these are my self hate tactics
The more I do to soil my name and make me look lame
The more I hate the game not the player who plays for the fame
Shame is what drives me, my attitude hides me
My words arent even mine but here I go saying this dramatically
I hate my fucking self, how I look and how I talk
How I type and what I say, how I feel and how I walk
Everthing about me is apart of a disease
It swells my anger and it eats at me
I wanna be at peace, so please someone please
Make me feel better so I can finally sleep
So I can be who I wanna be and feel okay
So I dont fucking break and go insane
So I can get out of the maze and leave this array
So I can fray the strings that are better left to fray

Oh but no, not for me, no not today
NOT FUCKING TODAY BITCH



My mom yells and complains about Bitchboy's games
Bitchboy leaves scars for every cuss word I ever named
Im in my room, minding my own fucking business
When suddenly I get more depressed than I am on Christmas
It gets louder and more frantic, they JUST WONT STOP
I feel steam coming off my skin IM ABOUT TO BLOW MY FUCKING TOP
Stop... Stop... STop...stOP...STOP AND SHUT THE FUCK UP

Look at me Mommy, Im just like Bitchboy
COMPARE ME TO HIM BITCH, Im sorry I took away your joy
Im sorry Daddy didnt wear a FUCKING rubber
Im sorry I didnt come out as a boy
So I could beat the shit out of my brother
So I could hold you all up, so I could be tougher

Fuck you...FUCK you...FUCK YOU

I hate you all with a fucking passion
"No SHUTUP KYLIE, Or youre getting a lashing
ACROSS the GODDAMN face WITH my HAND
I DONT CARE IF YOU SHOW YOUR MOTHER THE WELTS
Mommy doesnt give a DAMN
SHUT UP BITCH, IM ABOUT TO GET THE BELT"

No dont get the belt, no fuck you, get away from me

"YOU GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH
YOU CANT RUN FROM ME
ILL PUNCH YOU SO HARD YOU WONT BE ABLE TO SEE"



Leave...me.....THE...FUCK....ALONE!

Get...the...fuck...OUT OF MY ROOM!



They grab my hands and all gang up on me
Its all just a blur and it goes down so quickly
Paralyzed by my anger and hate for myself
Its either fight or flight and nothing else
Its done Ive lost the fight, Im lying on the floor
My ribs hurt so bad that I cant scream anymore
Either it was from crying, or from getting kicked
I dont really know, at the time I wasnt present
Like I was out of my body, and away from control
Like my body was hollow and I had no soul
Im the weak one, Im not strong
In a fight, I wont last very long
Im ugly and gross, disgusting and dumb
Preppy even maybe, Im nothing but scum
Kill me now, but I dont want to die
Im a disgusting person and just like everyone else
Just take away my sheild and armor and the ice in my heart melts
When the adrenaline wears off, Ill feel all the bruises
No Im not like you, no you dont understand...
Ill be the one who always looses